Recent kwiples

Friday 23rd of August 2019 Available without prescription™ © 2015
2018-2019 Government shutdown Federal workers will not be receiving their paychecks. What that means in their lives is tragic in terms of their credit rating, paying their mortgage, paying their rent, paying their car payment, paying their children's tuition. He [Trump] thinks maybe they could just ask their father for more money. But they can't. Nancy Pelosi © 2019
Animals Chimps were a particular obsession. In 1945, after Berlin Zoo had been destroyed by bombing, [Professor Bernhard] Grzimek took several into his flat, resulting in “numerous scars”. Financial Times, January 5, 2019 © 2019
Corporations The biggest flaw in the shareholder primacy model is that the shareholder is no longer the residual risk-taker in the corporation. Bankruptcy is no great threat to institutional investors running huge diversified portfolios. Employees have much more at risk, especially where their skills are specific to the firm. Suppliers likewise often have more at risk than shareholders. John Plender, Financial Times, January 2, 2019 © 2019
Dead-in-the-heads say And when your son looks at you and says, ‘Mama look, you won. Bullies don't win,’ and I said, ‘Baby, they don't,’ because we're gonna go in there and we're going to impeach the motherfucker. Rashida Tlaib, Democratic Representative from Michigan, telling supporters, on January 4, 2019, within hours of being sworn in to Congress, about the moment she knew she won election in 2018  © 2019
Dysfunction in government  The United States government might be the most complicated organization on the face of the earth. Its two million federal employees take orders from four thousand political appointees. Dysfunction is baked into the structure of the thing: subordinates know that their bosses will be replaced every four or eight years, and that the direction of their enterprises might change overnight – with an election or a war or some other political event. Michael Lewis, The Fifth Risk © 2019
Identity politics If there is one thing to be salvaged from Marxist thought – and, really, I must insist on just the one – it is relative indifference to matters of blood. The stress was always on material interest as the motor of history. By rejecting Marx, the US remained free and prosperous, but also defenceless against identity neuroses. Janan Ganesh, Financial Times, January 16, 2019 © 2019
Kwiplers say Count votes in Congress by: 1. Calculating a Member's Proportional Vote (MPV) for each voting member, as follows: MPV = SPNP / NLRS where: SPNP = State's Percentage of the National Population NLRS = Number of Legislators Representing the State (in that legislature) 2. Totaling “yes” MPVs and “no” MPVs 3. Passing if total MPV is more than 50 © 2019
Kwiplers say Enhance America's infrastructure (1) without privatizing it (2) without giving tax breaks and windfall profits to private investors (3) without issuing government bonds, which increases government debt and income inequality resulting from paying interest to bondholders by (1) contracting to build or improve assets of long-lasting public value, like roads, schools, parks, housing (2) printing money and paying for work as it's done © 2017
Looks There were 18,489 buttocks augmentations performed by licensed doctors in the United States in 2016, up 26 percent from the year before, and 2,999 buttocks implants, an 18 percent increase, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. New York Times, January 3, 2019 © 2019
Middle class  All middle class means now is that you're poor but you don't do meth. Bill Maher, Real Time with Bill Maher, Jan. 18, 2019 © 2019
Nukes In 1962 a worker at Hanford [nuclear production plant] named Harold Aardal, exposed to a blast of nuclear radiation, was whisked to a hospital, where he was told he was perfectly okay except that he was sterile—and it didn't even make the news. Instead, Hanford researchers in the late 1960s went to a local prison and paid inmates to allow the irradiation of their testicles, to see just how much radiation a man can receive before the tails fall from his sperm. Michael Lewis, The Fifth Risk © 2019
Post-2018 Senate shituation 15 states (Alaska, Arkansas, Idaho, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Utah, Wyoming) 2018 population: 40,056,961 Senators: 30 Republicans 1 Senator per 1,335,232 people 1 state (California) 2018 population: 39,776,830 Senators: 2 Democrats 1 Senator per 19,888,415 people 19,888,415 / 1,335,232 = 16, therefore: average 15er's vote is worth 16 times a Californian's, a Californian's vote is worth 6% of an average 15er's 1 state (Wyoming) 2018 population = 573,720, therefore: 1 Senator per 286,860 Wyomians, a Wyomian's vote is worth 69 times a Californian's, a Californian's vote is worth 1.4% of a Wyomian's © 2016
Public discourse The higher the oratory, the riskier the magic. Edward Luce, Financial Times, January 4, 2019 © 2019
Punt returners say Give each guy in the line an ax. Alex Karras, great defensive tackle, responding when asked how to stop Jim Brown, great running back © 2019
Selfie I don't throw temper tantrums. Donald Trump © 2019
Selfie I never worked for Russia. Donald Trump, January 14, 2019 © 2019
Sex A comparative sociological study of East and West Germany conducted after reunification in 1990 found that Eastern women had twice as many orgasms as Western women. Researchers marveled at this disparity in reported sexual satisfaction, especially since East German women suffered from the notorious double burden of formal employment and housework. In contrast, postwar West German women had stayed home and enjoyed all the labor-saving devices produced by the roaring capitalist economy. But they had less sex, and less satisfying sex, than women who had to line up for toilet paper. Kristen R. Ghodsee © 2019
Snapshot I expect the president to lie to the American people. Why do I expect this? Because he has been lying to the American people. Donald Trump portrayed Jerrold Nadler, House Judiciary Committee Chairman, before Trump's January 9, 2019, Oval Office address to the nation about the southern border wall  © 2019
Snapshot If somebody loved him, they'd give him a pet. Donald Trump portrayed by Nicole Wallace © 2019
Snapshot He allowed himself to be closeted, unsupported, unadvised, and alone, with men much sharper than himself, in situations of supreme difficulty. Woodrow Wilson, at the 1919 Paris Peace Conference, portrayed by John Maynard Keynes  © 2019
Southern border wall As Mr. Trump began exploring a presidential run in 2014, his political advisers landed on the idea of a border wall as a mnemonic device of sorts, a way to make sure their candidate – who hated reading from a script but loved boasting about himself and his talents as a builder – would remember to talk about getting tough on immigration, which was to be a signature issue of his nascent campaign. “How do we get him to continue to talk about immigration?” Sam Nunberg, one of Mr. Trump's early political advisers, recalled telling Roger J. Stone Jr., another adviser. “We're going to get him to talk about he's going to build a wall.” New York Times, January 5, 2019 © 2019
Southern border wall Border-Lying Personality Disorder Monologue title, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, January 10, 2019  © 2019
Southern border wall If my speeches ever get a little off, I just go: “We'll build a wall!” You know, if it gets a little boring, if I see people starting to sort of maybe thinking about leaving – I can sort of tell the audience – I just say, “We will build the wall,” and they go nuts. “And Mexico will pay for the wall!” But – ah, but I mean it. But I mean it. Donald Trump © 2019
Southern border wall Mr Trump never intended the wall as anything more than a slogan. The manufactured crisis on the US border stopped the moment Mr Trump was elected in November 2016. It only resumed in the weeks leading up to the 2018 midterm elections. Border crises are a way of whipping up fear and outrage. They only manifest themselves when Democrats are in office. Edward Luce, Financial Times, January 10, 2019 © 2019
Southern border wall  When during the campaign I would say, ‘Mexico's going to pay for it,’ obviously I never said this and I never meant they're  going to write out a check. I said they're going to pay for it. They are. They are paying for it with the incredible deal we made, called the United States, Mexico and Canada – USMCA – deal. Donald Trump, who apparently believes reducing our trade deficit with Mexico – should that happen – will generate money the government can use to pay for building a wall © 2019
State of the union About 78 per cent of US workers live pay cheque to pay cheque, according to a 2017 study by CareerBuilder, a jobs portal. A survey the same year by the Federal Reserve found that nearly half of American families could not cover a $400 emergency expense without borrowing or selling something to do so. Financial Times, January 20, 2019 © 2019
Trumpists say As I've said for the last two weeks, the Senate will be glad to vote on a measure that the House passes that the president will sign. But we're not going to vote on anything else. Mitch McConnell, January 2, 2019, guaranteeing he will keep the government shut down until Trump gets his Mex best thing © 2019