Recent kwiples

Sunday 13th of October 2019 Available without prescription™ © 2015
Abortion [T]here has to be some form of punishment [for the women]. Donald Trump © 2019
Bullshitters say The best thing that ever happened to the farmers is me. Donald Trump © 2019
Collusion It is illegal for any person … to accept … anything of value from a foreign national in connection with a U.S. election. … when foreign governments seek to influence American politics, it is always to advance their interests, not America's. Ellen L. Weintraub, Federal Election Commission Chair, in a June 13, 2019, tweet entitled, “I would not have thought that I needed to say this.” © 2019
Collusion It's not an interference, they have information. I think I'd take it.  If I thought there was something wrong, I'd go maybe to the FBI. If I thought there was something wrong. Donald Trump, asking for foreign nationals to help him get reelected in 2020 by dishing dirt on his opponents, as he did in 2016 © 2019
Collusion [T]his is someone who said, “We have information on your opponent.” Oh, let me call the FBI. Give me a break. Life doesn't work that way. Donald Trump, defending his son, Don, Jr., who violated federal law by not reporting offers he received from Russians to meddle in the 2016 election to the FBI © 2019
Collusion You don't call the FBI every time you hear something that maybe – now, you see the people. The meeting, it also sounds to me – I don't know anything  about that meeting – but it sounds to me like it was a big nothing. Donald Trump, defending his son, Don, Jr., who violated federal law by not reporting offers he received from Russians to meddle in the 2016 election to the FBI © 2019
Congress No matter what the sequence of action among the three departments, if the process is played out to the end, Congress always gets the last say (if it wants it). Garry Wills © 2019
Corruption The results of a survey released today by Transparency International show that compared to early 2016 more Americans now believe corruption is on the rise in the US and that the White House is the most corrupt of nine key institutions. Transparency International, December 12, 2017 © 2019
Enquiring minds Am I a fucking baby? Am I a fucking baby?  Donald Trump, to Paul Manafort © 2019
Impeachment Later can't mean never because the case for inaction here is starting to get pretty weak. John Oliver, June 16, 2019, after Trump said he would accept foreign meddling again in American elections in order to get rerelected in 2020 © 2019
Impeachment There was no crime. You know, it's high crimes AND – not with or or. It's high crimes and misdemeanors. There was no high crime and there was no misdemeanor. So how do you impeach based on that? Donald Trump © 2019
Impeachment When you look at past impeachments, whether it was president Clinton or, I guess president Nixon never got there, he left. I don't leave. There's a big difference. I don't leave. Donald Trump q © 2019
Kwiplers say Count votes in Congress by: 1. Calculating a Member's Proportional Vote (MPV) for each member, as follows: MPV = SPNP / NLRS where: SPNP = State's Percentage of the National Population NLRS = Number of Legislators Representing the State (in that legislature) 2. Totaling “yes” MPVs and “no” MPVs 3. Passing if total MPV is more than 50 OTHERWISE Abolish the Senate © 2019
Kwiplers say Enhance America's infrastructure (1) without privatizing it (2) without giving tax breaks and windfall profits to private investors (3) without issuing government bonds, which increases government debt and income inequality resulting from paying interest to bondholders by (1) contracting to build or improve assets of long-lasting public value, like roads, schools, parks, housing (2) printing money and paying for work as it's done © 2017
Money in politics In the 1980s, about 10 percent of all campaign spending came from one-tenth of 1 percent (0.01 percent) of the voting age population. By 2012, more than 40 percent of spending came from this tiny sliver of wealthy Americans. … [I]n 2012 the combined contributions of the 3.7 million small donors to the Obama and Romney campaigns amounted to less than the total contibutions of the 159 largest individual super PAC contributors. Benjamin Page and Martin Gilens, Democracy in America? © 2019
Obituary notice Mike ran out of family long ago and is survived by his ex-wife and best friend, Teresa Elliott. Though their marriage ran aground, their friendship only grew stronger and hers was the last voice Mike heard. And the last thing she said to him was “Donald Trump has been impeached.” Upon hearing that he took his final gentle breath, his earthly work concluded. from the obituary for Michael Garland Elliott , The Oregonian, Apr 11-16, 2017 © 2019
Punt returners say May I point out that only one of you is sitting on Putin's lap with his hand up your butt. Stephen Colbert responding to Donald Trump, who said: “Joe Biden is a dummy” © 2019
Post-2018 Senate shituation 15 states (Alaska, Arkansas, Idaho, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Utah, Wyoming) 2018 population: 40,056,961 Senators: 30 Republicans 1 Senator per 1,335,232 people 1 state (California) 2018 population: 39,776,830 Senators: 2 Democrats 1 Senator per 19,888,415 people 19,888,415 / 1,335,232 = 16, therefore: average 15er's vote is worth 16 times a Californian's, a Californian's vote is worth 6% of an average 15er's 1 state (Wyoming) 2018 population = 573,720, therefore: 1 Senator per 286,860 Wyomians, a Wyomian's vote is worth 69 times a Californian's, a Californian's vote is worth 1.4% of a Wyomian's © 2016
Rural America But the true losers from the romanticisation of rural life are, I suspect, rural-dwellers themselves. Their social problems get lost in the credulous notion of the countryside as the seat of virtue. Their economic decline is obscured by our wonder at the pastoral sublime. They might be poor, this line of thought seems to go, but what ravishing views they have. Janan Ganesh, Financial Times, June 15, 2019 © 2019
Snapshot Young people look at him like a typewriter is running for president. Joe Biden portrayed by Bill Maher © 2019
Snapshot In the light of a rubber-stamp Senate and a stooge Attorney General, it fell to Robert Mueller alone to right the ship of state. Mueller heard that call from history and let it go to voicemail. Robert Mueller portrayed by Bill Maher © 2019
Snapshot She's a three-syllable woman in a one-syllable country. A lot of Americans see a woman with a bunch of plans who seems to know everything making demands for change and they think, I already have a wife. Elizabeth Warren portrayed by Bill Maher © 2019
Television Never underestimate the power of being in people's living rooms for decades. That's what got Trump elected. This is now a as-seen-on-TV kind of country. Bill Maher © 2019
Trumpists say He doesn't lie. Attendee at Trump's 2020 campaign kickoff rally explaining why she supports his reelection to an NBC News political reporter © 2019
Trumpists say That [the Mueller Report] was a proud moment because I knew he's been telling the truth from the beginning, and now it's been proven by our Justice Department. Attendee at Trump's 2020 campaign kickoff rally quoted by The Atlantic, June 19, 2019  © 2019
Trumpists say When is there not a proud moment when you have Donald Trump as your president? Attendee at Trump's 2020 campaign kickoff rally quoted by The Atlantic, June 19, 2019  © 2019
Wealth inequality Economic inequality begets political inequality, which, in turn, makes it harder to address economic inequality. Benjamin Page and Martin Gilens, Democracy in America? © 2019