Recent kwiples

Wednesday 23rd of September 2020 Available without prescription™ © 2015
1%ers say I had this nightmare that somehow in Davos, all of us who went there got it [COVID-19]. And then we all left and spread it. The only good news from that is that it might just have killed the elite. Jaime Dimon, chairman and CEO of JPMorganChase, on postponing the 2021 Davos meeting of the world's leaders © 2020
2020 Presidential election It'll end up being a rigged election or  they will never come out with an outcome. They'll have to do it again and nobody wants that and I don’t want that. Donald Trump bullshitting about mail-in voting to discredit the election in case he loses © 2019
2020 Presidential election The night was so Borgia. Maureen Dowd, New York Times, August 29, 2020, summarizing Trump's acceptance speech to a superspreader crowd sitting cheek by jowl on the South Lawn of the White House, followed by fireworks spelling out  T R U M P   2 0 2 0 © 2020
2020 Presidential election The only way we're going to lose this election is if the election is rigged. Remember that. It's the only way we're going to lose. Donald Trump, at a rally in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, delegitimizing a Biden presidency, should Biden win in 2020 © 2020
2020 Presidential election  There is no perceptible platform or even a ghost of a second term agenda for Donald Trump's party. There is thus no possibility of dissent. His chief surrogates are his own family members. The message is Mr Trump, the whole Mr Trump and nothing but Mr Trump. Edward Luce, Financial Times, August 26, 2020 © 2020
Asslickers It was easier to go along with the ride. John Kelly, at least for a while, and Mick Mulvaney, without any reservations at all, would behave the same way [kowtowing like Trump's siblings throughout his life] — until they were ousted for not being sufficiently “loyal.” That's how it always works with sycophants. First they remain silent no matter what outrages are committed; then they make themselves complicit by not acting. Ultimately, they find they are expendable when Donald needs a scapegoat. Mary Trump, Too Much and Never Enough  © 2020
Bad news American newspapers cut 45 percent of their newsroom staffs between 2008 and 2017, with many of the deepest cutbacks coming in the years after that. citation Margaret Sullivan, Ghosting the News  [2020] © 2020
Bullshitters say As we head into the election season, I want to assure this committee and the American public that the postal service is fully capable and committed to delivering the nation’s election mail securely and on time. This sacred duty is my number-one priority. Louis DeJoy, Trump's postmaster general, to the Senate homeland security committee, denying that steps he's taken to delay all mail mean, as he warned in a letter to 46 states and to Washington, DC, that mail-in ballots may not be processed in time to be counted, even if voters submitted them to the post office prior to the state's deadline © 2020
Conspiracy theories I've heard these are people that love our country. So I don't know really anything about it other than they do supposedly like me. Donald Trump on QAnon conpsiracy theorists who believe he's fighting a war against a Satanic cult of Democratic pedophiles and whose tweets he reposts © 2020
Democracy  Those questioning the future of American democracy are behind the curve.  Half of it has already packed up. Parties are what animate a democracy. There is no longer a Republican one distinct from the cult of personality it has become. It is what Mr Trump says it is at any given moment.  One day North Korea’s leader Kim Jong Un may be America’s deadliest enemy. Standing ovation. The next day, Mr Kim is Mr Trump's soul brother. The audience stays on its feet. Edward Luce, Financial Times, August 26, 2020 © 2020
Journalism  While information may want to be free, journalists need to be paid. David Chavern, CEO of News Media Alliance © 2020
Kwiplers say Calculate the minimum wage as follows: MW = CMHI / CMHS × WPY × HPW where: MW = Minimum Wage CMHI = Current Median Household Income, e.g., $65,000 CMHS = Current Median Household Size, e.g., 2.1 people WPY = Workdays Per Year, e.g., 240 HPW = Hours Per Workday, e.g., 8 [MW would be $16.12 using data above] © 2019
Kwiplers say Count votes in Congress by: 1. Calculating a Member's Proportional Vote (MPV) for each member, as follows: MPV = SPNP / NLRS where: SPNP = State's Percentage of the National Population NLRS = Number of Legislators Representing the State (in that legislature) 2. Totaling “yes” MPVs and “no” MPVs 3. Passing if total MPV is more than 50 OTHERWISE Abolish the Senate © 2019
Newspapers After all, a newspaper's purpose isn't only to keep public officials accountable; it is also to be the village square for an entire metropolitan area; to help  provide a common reality and touchstone; a sense of community and of place. citation Margaret Sullivan, Ghosting the News  © 2020
Newspapers The decline of advertising gradually turned the newspaper industry “from monopoly to franchise to competitive,” the billionaire chief officer of Berkshire Hathaway Inc. [Warren Buffett] said in an interview with Yahoo Finance. And now most newspapers are “toast.” Bloomberg News, April 23, 2019 © 2020
Newspapers When a new dictator takes over a country, one of the first things he does is seize or close the newspapers.  Apathy isn't as heavy-handed as a dictator. But it can get the same job done. Mike Royko, Chicago News, March 4, 1978 © 2020
Post-2018 Senate shituation 15 states (Alaska, Arkansas, Idaho, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Utah, Wyoming) 2018 population: 40,056,961 Senators: 30 Republicans 1 Senator per 1,335,232 people 1 state (California) 2018 population: 39,776,830 Senators: 2 Democrats 1 Senator per 19,888,415 people 19,888,415 / 1,335,232 = 16, therefore: average 15er's vote is worth 16 times a Californian's, a Californian's vote is worth 6% of an average 15er's 1 state (Wyoming) 2018 population = 573,720, therefore: 1 Senator per 286,860 Wyomians, a Wyomian's vote is worth 69 times a Californian's, a Californian's vote is worth 1.4% of a Wyomian's © 2016
Selfie I have fought for children and survivors of sexual assault. I fought against transnational criminal organizations. I took on the biggest banks and helped take down one of the biggest for-profit colleges. I know a predator when I see one. Kamala Harris © 2020
Small business A recent study from the National Bureau of Economic Research found that black-owned businesses in the US have been dispropor-  tionately impacted by lockdowns and changes in consumer behaviour during the pandemic. The overall number of active business owners in the US fell 15 per cent between February and May 2020, but African-American business owners suffered a 26 per cent drop, while those controlled by Latinx owners fell 19 per cent, according to the report. After the 2008 financial crisis, fewer than 50 per cent of black-owned businesses sur- vived compared to 60 percent for white- owned businesses, according to a recent study from the Brookings Institute … Financial Times, August 27, 2020 © 2020
Snapshot He doesn't suffer from inner demons, he doesn't bear grudges and he loves being around people. Joe Biden portrayed by Louis Susman, former US ambassador © 2020
Snapshot Donald Trump hasn't grown into the job because he can't. And the consequences of that failure are severe. Donald Trump portrayed by Barack Obama © 2020
Snapshot Donald was to my grandfather  what the border wall has been for Donald: a vanity project funded at the expense of more worthy pursuits. Donald Trump portrayed by Mary Trump in Too Much and Never Enough  © 2020
Snapshot It's like a weird bid to prove how tough they are, and I mean, how tough is it to kill an elephant? I don't think it's very difficult when you have a bazooka. Donald Trump, Jr., and Eric Trump,  mucho macho big-game hunters, portrayed by Mary Trump, Financial Times, August 7, 2020 © 2020
State of the union If you think things cannot possibly get worse, trust me; they can. Michelle Obama, August 17, 2020 © 2020
State of the union If you want a picture of the future, imagine Donald Trump, Jr, yelling about America's bright and beautiful future – forever. Edward Luce, Financial Times, August 26, 2020 © 2020
Wannabe autocrats say They need that money in order to have the post office work so it can take all of these millions and millions of ballots. If they don't get those two items, that means you can't have universal mail-in voting because they're not equipped to have it. Donald Trump, admitting he's authorized sabotaging the US Postal Service by denying it money needed to function and to support universal mail-in voting during a pandemic because polls show 74% of Democrats but only 22% of Republicans are likely to vote using mail-in ballots © 2020
Work … for most people work brings few rewards beyond a payslip. As the pollster Gallup showed in its momentous survey of working life in 155 countries published in 2017, only one in 10 western Europeans described themselves as engaged in their jobs. This is perhaps unsurprising. After all, in another survey conducted by YouGov in 2015, 37 per cent of working British adults said their jobs were not making any meaningful contribution to the world. James Suzman, Financial Times, August 28, 2020 © 2020