Recent kwiples

Friday 22nd of October 2021 Available without prescription™ © 2015
The Big Lie Two weeks after the 2020 election, a team of lawyers closely allied with Donald J. Trump held a widely watched news conference at the Republican Party’s headquarters in Washington. At the event, they laid out a bizarre conspiracy theory claiming that a voting machine company had worked with an election software firm, the financier George Soros and Venezuela to steal the presidential contest from Mr. Trump. But there was a problem for the Trump team, according to court documents released on Monday evening. By the time the news conference occurred on Nov. 19, Mr. Trump’s campaign had already prepared an internal memo on many of the outlandish claims about the company, Dominion Voting Systems, and the separate software company, Smartmatic. The memo had determined that those allegations were untrue. New York Times, September 21, 2021 © 2021
Bipartisanship Increasingly, voters — on the left and on the right — are demanding more than bipartisanship is capable of giving them. The right has already made a significant break with the idea.  It remains to be seen whether Democratic voters will follow suit and demand — in protests and at the ballot box — that their leaders join them. For the country’s sake, we should hope they do. Osita Nwanevu, The New Republic, October 2021 © 2021
Bipartisanship [I]t cannot seriously be denied that the concept of bipartisanship — insofar as it is deployed as a case against unilateral Democratic action — has become a threat to the democratic process. If Democrats fail to check Republican voter suppression and the risk that the right subverts the next election, it will be because the pivotal voters in the caucus and the president upheld a doctrine that presupposes an equivalence between the two parties and holds that Republican abuses cannot be curbed without permission from Republicans. Osita Nwanevu, The New Republic, October 2021 © 2021
Bullshitters say I've been very clear when it comes to who we are as a society, who we are as a nation. I don't believe that we should turn our society into an entitlement society. I think we should still be a compassionate, rewarding society. Joe Manchin, responding to Bernie Sanders, who accused him spewing vague generalities like opposing becoming an “entitlement society” without ever proposing specific, negotiable changes to Biden's signature $3.5 trillon infrastsructuere spending bill over 10 years © 2021
Cocks of the walk say I am without a doubt the most accomplished prosecutor of the 20th Century. Without doubt. There’s no question about it. Rudy Giuliani © 2021
Dead-in-the-heads say I’m clearly right in front of the elevator. Sen. Krysten Sinema, thinking she's clever and funny in responding to a reporter who asked her what she has to say to progressive Senators who say they have no idea what she wants from negotiations about the proposed $3.5 trillion Build Back Better bill because she refuses to do anything other than to silently signal, “Nah, that ain't it” © 2021
Dysfunction in government We always do this fucking dance. I don't know if people are going to put their sane minds on and do what needs to be done, or shut it down. This is just a ridiculous exercise. I can't even compare it to anything I do on the farm that's this stupid. Jon Tester, Montana farmer and Senator, on the Republicans' penchant for threatening to not raise the debt ceiling, shut down the government and defaullt on the nation's debt during Democratic administrations © 2021
Elections I don't care who does the electing, so long as I get to do the nominating. William M. “Boss” Tweed © 2021
Food Its talent for overcoming its own missteps was one reason I gave it four stars in its last review in The New York Times, in 2015. … With time, Mr. Humm may stop overcompensating for ditching the animal products, too. Beets aren’t very good at pretending to be meat, but their ability to taste like beets is unrivaled. Pete Wells, New York Times, September 28, 2021, review of Daniel Humm's restaurant, One Madison Park, which replaced animal products with vegetables © 2021
Gerrymandering [T]he best-laid gerrymandering plans can be spoiled by voters behaving in unpredictable ways. Stephen K. Medvic, Gerrymandering  © 2021
Gerrymandering The gerrymander overcometh all. What demographics give, legislators can take away  in the dead of night. Tom Hofeller, Republican gerrymanderer © 2021
Gerrymandering In many states, the partisan composition  of the US Congress is effectively determined by state legislative elections that occur once a decade, before redistricting. This arrangement means that state governments have expanded their reach  into national affairs in ways that undermine  the design of the House of Representatives to be responsive to public opinion and unsettle the balance of power between state and federal government that has been settled for many decades. Alex Keena, Michael Latner, Anthony J. McGann, Charles Anthony Smith, Gerrymandering the States   © 2021
Gerrymandering In this book, we investigated redistricting in the states to understand what happened in the state legislatures after 2011 redistricting and to understand why. We have found that several dozen legislative bodies were drawn with severe bias, and that this bias overwhelmingly favors the Republican Party. The Republicans' advantage in state government is so extreme that the average state legislative plan gives Republicans about 9 percent more seats than Democrats for a similar share of the vote. In many cases, Democrats have to win by a 10 percent vote margin in order to get a majority in the legislature. Alex Keena, Michael Latner, Anthony J. McGann, Charles Anthony Smith, Gerrymandering the States   © 2021
Gerrymandering In this chapter we've attempted to identify the consequences of redistricting and gerrymandering. Unfortunately, we're left with an unclear picture. There is evidence that redistricting both enhances and hinders competitive elections; that it gives the party con- trolling the process an advantage and that it doesn't; that it hurts incumbents' re-elections efforts and that it either has no effect or helps incumbents; that it depresses turnout and that it has no effect; and that it contributes to polarization and that it doesn't. Stephen K. Medvic, Gerrymandering,  ch. 5 © 2021
Kwiple dictionary sinema (sin' ə mə), n. (1) An empty vesssel into which nothing can be poured (2) A dumbass advised by other dumbasses © 2021
Kwiplers say Count votes in Congress by: 1. Calculating a Member's Proportional Vote (MPV) for each member, as follows: MPV = SPNP / NLRS where: SPNP = State's Percentage of the National Population NLRS = Number of Legislators Representing the State (in that legislature) 2. Totaling “yes” MPVs and “no” MPVs 3. Passing if total MPV is more than 50 OTHERWISE Abolish the Senate © 2019
Making money the new-fashioned way Being your own paparazzi © 2021
Post-2020 Senate shituation 15 states (Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Idaho, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Utah, Wyoming) 2020 population: 40,085,414 Senators: 30 Republicans 1 Senator per 1,336,180 people 1 state (California) 2020 population: 39,368,075 Senators: 2 Democrats 1 Senator per 19,684,037 people 19,684,037 / 1,336,180 = 14.7, therefore: average 15er's vote is worth nearly 15 times a Californian's, a Californian's vote is worth less than 7% of an average 15er's 1 state (Wyoming) 2020 population = 582,328, therefore: 1 Senator per 291,164 Wyomians, a Wyomian's vote is worth 68 times a Californian's, a Californian's vote is worth 1.5% of a Wyomian's  © 2021
Selfie I can't remember the last time I was drunk. Rudy Giuliani © 2021
Snapshot I could carve out of a banana a judge with more backbone than that. Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., portrayed by Theodore Roosevelt, who appointed Holmes to the Supreme Court but felt betrayed when Holmes dissented in United States v. Northern Securities, the biggest railroad trust-busting case at the time © 2021
Snapshot A man with all the backbone of one of those inflatable tube men outside a car dealership. Kevin McCarthy portrayed by Bill Maher © 2021
Television The trick [to succeeding in TV] is to care, but not too much. Give a shit — but not really. Larry King © 2021
Trumpists say I had a picture one time of Obama sittin' on a stump as a witch doctor and I posted that on Facebook. I was making fun of the white half of Obama, not the black half. Roy Yelton, Buncombe County Republican captain and member of North Carolina's Republican Party Executive Committee © 2021
Trumpists say We weren’t there to steal things. We weren’t there to do damage. We were just there to overthrow the government. A 56-year-old female participant in the January 6 assault on the Capitol quoted by Robert Kagan, Washington Post, September 23, 2021 © 2021
Voter suppression Some of the statements by those supporting the legislation included a Republican chairman [Roy Yelton] who testified before the [North Carolina] House Rules Committee that the photo ID requirement would “disenfranchise some of (Democrats') special voting blocks (sic),” and that “that within itself is the reason for the photo voter ID, period, end of discussion.”  U.S. Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals 2013 ruling invalidating North Carolina's voter ID law © 2021
Voting It's not the voting that's democracy, it's the counting. Tom Stoppard, Jumpers © 2021
Voting rights To the extent that a citizen's right to vote is debased, he is that much less a citizen. Earl Warren, in Reynolds v. Sims © 2021