Recent kwiples

Sunday 8th of December 2019 Available without prescription™ © 2015
2020 Presidential election Right now, Russia's security services and their proxies have geared up to repeat their interference in the 2020 election. We are running out of time to stop them. In the course of this investigation, I would ask that you please not promote politically driven falsehoods that so clearly advance Russian interests. Fiona Hill, opening statement before the House Intelligence Committee impeachment inquiry hearing, November 21, 2019 © 2019
Border walls Following the collapse of the Berlin Wall, there were fewer than ten border walls in the world. Today, there are over 70, from the fortified U.S.-Mexican border to the fences separating Hungary and Serbia and those between Botswana and Zimbabwe. Tanisha M. Fazal and Paul Poast, Foreign Affairs, November/December 2019 © 2019
Corruption You can't promote principled anticorruption action without pissing off corrupt people. George Kent © 2019
Dead-in-the-heads This irregular channel of diplomacy, it's not as outlandish as it could be – is that correct? Steve Castor, Republican's chief counsel at the impeachment inquiry into Trump, to William Taylor, Acting Ukraine Ambassador © 2019
Facts During the first day of public impeachment hearings on Wednesday, Mark Meadows, one of Mr Trump's most loyal congressional allies, said: “Everyone has their own impression of what truth is.” When conservatives embrace relativism, facts have clearly lost their use. Edward Luce, Financial Times, November 13, 2019 © 2019
Impeachment Was there a quid pro quo? The answer is yes. Everyone was in the loop. It was no secret. Gordon Sondland [“Everyone” includes Trump, Mike Pence, Rudy Giuliani, Mike Pompeo, Mick Mulvaney and John Bolton, who wanted no part of what he called a “drug deal”] © 2019
Internet First, you figure out who people are and what they like. Then, you provide them with content and services that best fit them. Finally, you tune to get the fit just right. Your identity shapes your media. Ed Pariser, The Filter Bubble © 2019
Kwiplers say Calculate the minimum wage as follows: MW = CMHI / CMHS × WPY × HPW where: MW = Minimum Wage CMHI = Current Median Household Income, e.g., $65,000 CMHS = Current Median Household Size, e.g., 2.1 people WPY = Workdays Per Year, e.g., 240 HPW = Hours Per Workday, e.g., 8 [MW would be $16.12 using data above] © 2019
Kwiplers say Count votes in Congress by: 1. Calculating a Member's Proportional Vote (MPV) for each member, as follows: MPV = SPNP / NLRS where: SPNP = State's Percentage of the National Population NLRS = Number of Legislators Representing the State (in that legislature) 2. Totaling “yes” MPVs and “no” MPVs 3. Passing if total MPV is more than 50 OTHERWISE Abolish the Senate © 2019
Making money the new-fashioned way Developing satellite jammers © 2019
Politics It is not normal to be enthusiastic about a politician. Choosing between flawed options is the natural state of democracy. Janan Ganesh, Financial Times, November 13, 2019 © 2019
Post-2018 Senate shituation 15 states (Alaska, Arkansas, Idaho, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Utah, Wyoming) 2018 population: 40,056,961 Senators: 30 Republicans 1 Senator per 1,335,232 people 1 state (California) 2018 population: 39,776,830 Senators: 2 Democrats 1 Senator per 19,888,415 people 19,888,415 / 1,335,232 = 16, therefore: average 15er's vote is worth 16 times a Californian's, a Californian's vote is worth 6% of an average 15er's 1 state (Wyoming) 2018 population = 573,720, therefore: 1 Senator per 286,860 Wyomians, a Wyomian's vote is worth 69 times a Californian's, a Californian's vote is worth 1.4% of a Wyomian's © 2016
Public discourse “It sounds like something I would say. That's how President Trump and I communicate, a lot of four-letter words, in this case three letters,” Mr Sondland quipped, adding that the phrase “loves your ass” was his way of conveying the situation in ”Trump-speak.“ Financial Times, November 22, 2019, on Sondland's response when asked if he had told Trump that Ukrainian President “Zelensky loves your ass,” as others had testified during the impeachment inquiry © 2019
Punt returners say You're dipping into the Kool Aid and you don't even know the flavor. Cory Booker responding to Joe Biden about a comment Biden made about Booker's tenure as mayor of Newark, NJ © 2019
Selfie I don't want to have to worry about the market every minute. I want models that will make money while I sleep. A pure system without humans interfering. Jim Simons, founder of Renaissance Technologies and its flagship Medallion Fund, based on quantitative analysis © 2019
Slavery Slavery is not abolished until the black man has the ballot. Frederick Douglass © 2019
Snapshot Mike Pompeo: Last in his class at West Point on ethics in leadership. Mike Pompeo portrayed by Thomas L. Friedman, after it was revealed that Pompeo, as Secretary of State, participated in a smear campaign to remove Marie Yovanovitch, ambassador to Ukraine, because she would block Trump's attempt to bribe Ukraine's president © 2019
Snapshot He was being involved in a domestic political errand, and we were being involved in national security foreign policy. And those two things had just diverged. Gordon Sondland portrayed by Fiona Hill, on realizing that Sondland's mission in the Ukraine had nothing to with advancing America's bipartisan foreign policy objectives © 2019
Surely you jest Complaining the impeachment hearings lack “pizzazz” © 2019
Tech bros say Ask forgiveness, not permission --> © 2019
Trumpists say In every instance that I dealt with him, he was truthful, he listened, and he was great to work with. Nikki Haley © 2019
Trumpists say Thank God no one is accusing us any more of interfering in elections in the United States. Now they are blaming Ukraine. Vladimir Putin © 2019
Trumpists say You need 67 votes to remove a president, 47 Democrats and 20 Republicans. I see no sign at all of Republicans abandoning the president. The case is very flimsy. The most I hear from some is that his behaviour was inappropriate but not impeachable. John Barrasso, the number three Senate Republican © 2019
Trumpists say You're going to impeach a president for asking for a favor that didn't happen and – and giving money and it wasn't withheld? I don't know what you would impeach him on. And look, Norah, impeachment is, like, the death penalty for a public official. Nikki Haley to CBS Evening News anchor Norah O'Donnell © 2019
Violence Any guy that can do a body slam, he's my kind of guy. Donald Trump, complimenting Greg Gianforte for punching and body slamming a reporter during the 2016 campaign, for which he later pled guilty to misdemeanor assault © 2019
War  If a democracy does not trust its troops, then it shouldn't go to war. Jim Mattis, Call Sign Chaos: Learning to Lead © 2019
War War is too important to be left to the generals. Georges Clemenceau © 2019