Recent kwiples

Friday 15th of November 2019 Available without prescription™ © 2015
Alt-righters  The crap you think of is unbelievable. Donald Trump, on Twitter content created by far-right activists and provocateurs attending a July 2019 social media summit at the White House © 2018
Cities We shall solve the problem of the city by leaving the city. Henry Ford © 2019
Cocks of the walk say Here's the story. If you win, they're going to make it like, ho hum. And if you lose, they are going to say Trump suffered the greatest defeat in the history of the world. You can't let that happen to me! Donald Trump, urging attendees at his rally in Kentucky, which he won by 30 percentage points in 2016, to re-elect Matt Bevin as governor, the day before Bevin lost to his Democratic opponent © 2019
Dead-in-the-heads say At some point, I'm going to sit down perhaps as a fireside chat on live television, and I will read the transcript of the call. Donald Trump, who believes the transcript of his call with Ukraine's president exonerates him of wanting a quid pro quo with Ukraine © 2019
Dead-in-the-heads say You know what I did? A big favor. I caught the swamp. I caught them all. Lets see what happens. Nobody else could have done that but me. I caught all this corruption that was going on and noboby else could have dont it. Donald Trump © 2019
Impeachment All Republicans must remember what they are witnessing here – a lynching. Donald Trump, 4:52 AM -– 22 Oct 2019 © 2019
Impeachment On the one hand, you're shocked, and at the same time, you’re not surprised. And maybe that's the most awful thing about this. Adan Schiff, on testimony presented to the House Intelligence committee about Trump's attempted extortion of Ukraine © 2019
Information [I]nformation wants to be free, but so does misinformation. Andrew Marantz, The New Yorker, September 30, 2019 © 2019
Kwiplers say Calculate the minimum wage as follows: MW = CMHI / CMHS × WPY × HPW where: MW = Minimum Wage CMHI = Current Median Household Income, e.g., $65,000 CMHS = Current Median Household Size, e.g., 2.1 people WPY = Workdays Per Year, e.g., 240 HPW = Hours Per Workday, e.g., 8 [MW would be $16.12 using data above] © 2019
Kwiplers say Count votes in Congress by: 1. Calculating a Member's Proportional Vote (MPV) for each member, as follows: MPV = SPNP / NLRS where: SPNP = State's Percentage of the National Population NLRS = Number of Legislators Representing the State (in that legislature) 2. Totaling “yes” MPVs and “no” MPVs 3. Passing if total MPV is more than 50 OTHERWISE Abolish the Senate © 2019
Post-2018 Senate shituation 15 states (Alaska, Arkansas, Idaho, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Utah, Wyoming) 2018 population: 40,056,961 Senators: 30 Republicans 1 Senator per 1,335,232 people 1 state (California) 2018 population: 39,776,830 Senators: 2 Democrats 1 Senator per 19,888,415 people 19,888,415 / 1,335,232 = 16, therefore: average 15er's vote is worth 16 times a Californian's, a Californian's vote is worth 6% of an average 15er's 1 state (Wyoming) 2018 population = 573,720, therefore: 1 Senator per 286,860 Wyomians, a Wyomian's vote is worth 69 times a Californian's, a Californian's vote is worth 1.4% of a Wyomian's © 2016
Punt returners say By the way, “corrupt intent” is also what you call it when Trump goes camping. Stephen Colbert responding to Senator Ted Cruz's claim that “a quid pro quo is not illegal unless there is ‘corrupt intent’” © 2019
Punt returners say I hope he takes his kids with him. Manhattanite responding to the news that Donald Trump changed his official residence from Manhattan to Palm Beach, Florida, quoted in Financial Times, Nov. 2/3, 2019 © 2019
Selfie My sole inspiration is a telephone call from a producer. Cole Porter © 2019
Selfie If I don't tweet it, don't listen to my staff. Donald Trump © 2019
Selfie It took me probably 41 years to realize I was a lot more like my dad than either of us had ever thought. … Our default mode is, I guess, attack. Donald Trump, Jr. © 2019
Snapshot It is understandable that Democrats in the House believe they must follow the Constitution and consider an impeachment. It is also a political gamble. Trump is the opposite of a Teflon President; everything sticks to him, and yet he blusters on, unburdened by shame. Donald Trump portrayed by Steve Coll, The New Yorker, November 11, 2019 © 2019
Snapshot Mr. Trump rarely tweets in front of others, those close to him say, because he does not like to wear the reading glasses he needs he needs to see the screen. Donald Trump, portrayed by the New York Times, November 2, 2019 © 2019
Snapshot This president, he's like a planetary object. He warps time. And things that you think happened a couple weeks ago, it turns out, only happened a day or two ago. Donald Trump portrayed by Adam Schiff © 2019
Snapshot She can make a theory out of a potato peel. Susan Sontag portrayed by Herbert Marcuse © 2019
Social media We built Reddit around the principle of “No editors. The people are the editors.” Steve Huffman, co-founder of Reddit © 2019
Southern border wall Cutting is one thing. But it is easily fixed. One of the reasons we did it the way we did it, it's very easily fixed. You put the chunk back in. We have a very powerful wall. But no matter how powerful, you can cut through anything.  Donald Trump, responding to reports that rapscallions are using $100 reciprocating saws to cut through his $10 billion wall  © 2019
Trumpists say If you're looking for a circumstance where the President of the United States was threatening the Ukraine with cutting off aid unless they investigated his political opponent, you'd be very disappointed. That does not exist. Lindsey Graham © 2019
Trumpists say This is a lynching, in every sense. This is un-American. Lindsey Graham,, on the impeachment inquiry into Trump © 2019
Trumpists say To say no to President Donald Trump would be to say no to God. Paula White, Trump's head of faith outreach to evangelical Christians © 2019
Trumpists say What I can tell you about the Trump policy toward Ukraine. It was incoherent. It depends on who you talk to; they seem to be incapable of forming a quid pro quo. Lindsey Graham, November 6, 2019, rolling out the latest/6th Republican defence of Trump's extortionate call with Ukraine's president, following earlier defences that: 1- there was nothing wrong with the call, 2- there was no quid pro quo, 3- we do quid pro quos all the time, 4- evidence about the call is second-hand, 5- extorting a foreign country for personal and partisan political advantage is not an impeachable offense © 2019
Women Women with children at home, who either serve in public office, or are employed on the outside, pursue a path that contradicts God's revealed design for them. It is a sin. Ralph Drollinger, host of a Trump White House Bible-study group for Cabinet officers © 2017