Recent kwiples

Thursday 4th of June 2020 Available without prescription™ © 2015
Change [T]he pleasure principle revived, and during the decade we now associate with Eisenhower conformism. Such is the unreliability of nostalgia. Such also, is the process of social change. That is, by the time it shows up in the laws of the land, all the hardest work was done a while ago. Janan Ganesh, Financial Times, May 15, 2020 © 2020
Change This life-and-death situation that we've now all been thrust into has opened up possibilities. Working people want real change, and that I think makes me more optimistic than ever that the change isn't going to be incremental, and that gives me incredible hope. Mary Kay Henry, International President of the Service Employees International Union, May 22, 2020, during the COVID-19 pandemic © 2020
COVID-19 coronavirus On March 8, 2020, well over two months after the first case of Covid-19 had been confirmed in the United States, Dan Scavino, assistant to the president and director of social media at the White House, tweeted a mocked-up picture of his boss Donald Trump playing a violin. The caption read: “My next piece is called Nothing Can Stop What's Coming.” Trump himself retweeted the image with the comment “Who knows what this means, but it sounds good to me!” Fintan O'Toole, New York Review of Books, May 14, 2020 © 2020
COVID-19 coronavirus We're going to tackle the virus but tackle it like fucking men. Jair Bolsonaro, Brazil's Trump  © 2020
COVID-19 coronavirus Winning is important. We will deliver by the end of this year a vaccine, at scale, to treat the American people and our partners abroad. Mark Esper, Secretary of Defense, May 15, 2020 © 2020
Death I miss my mother and father and grandfather. That feeling continues for all time, even at 100. Most people do. Captain Tom Moore, the 100-year old Briton knighted for raising more than £33m for Britain's National Health Service by walking laps in his garden  © 2020
Food Tell me what you eat: I will tell you what you are. Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin © 2020
Inspectors general Their ability to wreak political havoc with the latest Horowitz report is part of what has now become a clear pattern: Call for an investigation of a favorite Trump target; speculate about the likely outcome; seize on any collateral evidence that emerges; spin the results; then move quickly to the next investigation. Repeat. James B. Stewart, New York Times, December 13, 2019, on the Trump administration's response to Michael Horowitz, IG of the DOJ, who reported opening the FBI's Russia inquiry was justified, Obama never spied on Trump, and there was no deep state conspiracy to overthrow him © 2020
Kwiplers say Calculate the minimum wage as follows: MW = CMHI / CMHS × WPY × HPW where: MW = Minimum Wage CMHI = Current Median Household Income, e.g., $65,000 CMHS = Current Median Household Size, e.g., 2.1 people WPY = Workdays Per Year, e.g., 240 HPW = Hours Per Workday, e.g., 8 [MW would be $16.12 using data above] © 2019
Kwiplers say Count votes in Congress by: 1. Calculating a Member's Proportional Vote (MPV) for each member, as follows: MPV = SPNP / NLRS where: SPNP = State's Percentage of the National Population NLRS = Number of Legislators Representing the State (in that legislature) 2. Totaling “yes” MPVs and “no” MPVs 3. Passing if total MPV is more than 50 OTHERWISE Abolish the Senate © 2019
Law The purpose of the law is to work, to work for the people. Stephen Breyer © 2020
Liberals A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel. Robert Frost © 2020
Logistics When it's planes in the sky For a chain of supply That's logistics When the pipes for the line Come precisely on time That's logistics When technology knows Right where everything goes That's logistics from UPS's "We Love Logistics" ad campaign © 2020
Post-2018 Senate shituation 15 states (Alaska, Arkansas, Idaho, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Utah, Wyoming) 2018 population: 40,056,961 Senators: 30 Republicans 1 Senator per 1,335,232 people 1 state (California) 2018 population: 39,776,830 Senators: 2 Democrats 1 Senator per 19,888,415 people 19,888,415 / 1,335,232 = 16, therefore: average 15er's vote is worth 16 times a Californian's, a Californian's vote is worth 6% of an average 15er's 1 state (Wyoming) 2018 population = 573,720, therefore: 1 Senator per 286,860 Wyomians, a Wyomian's vote is worth 69 times a Californian's, a Californian's vote is worth 1.4% of a Wyomian's © 2016
Prophesy The best prophet naturally is the best guesser, and the best guesser he that is most versed and studied in the matters he guesses at, for he hath most signs to guess by. Thomas Hobbes, Leviathan © 2020
Public health Two months before the novel coronavirus is thought to have begun its deadly ad- vance in Wuhan, China, the Trump admin- istration ended a $200-million pandemic early-warning program aimed at training scientists in China and other countries to detect and respond to such a threat. The project, launched by the U.S. Agency for International Development in 2009, identi- fied 1,200 different viruses that had the potential to erupt into pandemics, including more than 160 novel coronaviruses. The initiative, called PREDICT, also trained and supported staff in 60 foreign laboratories - including the Wuhan lab that identified SARS-COV-2 [which causes] COVID-19. Los Angeles Times, April 2, 2020 © 2020
Racism Imagine a group of black men in paramilitary gear with semiautomatic rifles moving towards a US state capitol building. Their chances of reaching the steps without a police stand-off – or worse – would be tiny. Yet every few days white protesters do just that. They often enter the building armed but unchallenged. Nothing brings into sharper relief America’s colour disparities than life and death in the great lockdown. Edward Luce, Financial Times, May 14, 2020 © 2020
Rule of law Mr Linick is the fifth inspector general to be sacked in the past two months. “Someone was walking my dog to sell arms to my dry cleaner,” was how Mr Pompeo mocked the uproar. That is the language of impunity. Edward Luce, Financial Times, May 21, 2020 [Linick was investigating Pompeo for using State Department employees as his and his wife's gofers and for bypassing Congress to sell arms to Saudi Arabia. Pompeo asked Trump to fire Linick. Trump said he never heard of Linick but fired him anyway.] © 2020
Science Nothing matches the holiness and fascination of accurate and intricate detail. Stephen Jay Gould, “No Science Without Fancy, No Art Without Facts” © 2020
Selfie It must not be thought that I have spent the last ten years of my life pafnutying. (I should like to be remembered as the man who introduced this verb into the language. I think it has great possibilities, like Oscar Wilde's “bunburying.” In the future editions of Webster's, I would like to see: pafnuty, v.i., to pursue tangential matters with a hobby-like zeal.) Philip J. Davis, The Thread: A Mathematical Yarn © 2020
Selfie You know, I'm not a big sleeper. I like three hours, four hours, I toss, I turn, I beep-de-beep, I want to find out what's going on. Donald Trump © 2020
Snapshot There is something feudal about Dickens. The rich man in his castle should be nicer to the poor man at his gate, but each is in his rightful station. Charles Dickens portrayed by Janan Ganesh, Financial Times, March 27, 2020 © 2020
Snapshot His mea culpas are tempered by a refrain that the emergence of those problems, [disinformation, privacy leaks, etc.] and Facebook's inattention as they proliferated, were results of over-optimism rather than complacency or greed. Mark Zuckerberg portrayed by Steven Levy in Facebook: The Inside Story © 2020
Tax avoidance The asymmetry between tech profits and the public interest needs to be corrected. In 2019, only the US, China and Japan had economies larger than the combined market capitalisation of Facebook, Apple, Amazon, Netflix, Google and Microsoft. Lost revenues from the lack of tax on Silicon Valley’s largest companies are at $100bn over the past ten years, according to Fair Tax Mark. The OECD puts the total cost of corporate tax avoidance to governments worldwide at up to $240bn. Marietje Schaake, Financial Times, May 20, 2020 © 2020
Trumpists say Are we just going to sit by and watch $22 trillion – that's the value, that's the sum total of the G.D.P., that's the U.S. economy – are we just going to sit by here and watch it evaporate? Because that’s what we’re doing, under the guise of not losing any unnecessary life. Rush Limbaugh, March 31, 2020, on COVID-19 coronavirus stay-at-home orders © 2020
Wealth inequality For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath. Matthew 25:29, a.k.a. the “Matthew Effect” © 2060
Work The jobs you work increasingly relfects the money you already had. Sarah Kendzior, The View From Flyover Country  © 2020