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Sunday 28th of July 2024

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2016 Presidential election To believe that Trump's presidency came out of nowhere, without warning, is the political version of creationism.  I, on the other hand, believe in devolution. The election of a serially bankrupt, functionally illiterate reality TV host was the logical consequence of the five decades preceding it, which, with apologies to Edith Wharton, I'll call the Age of Ignorance. Andy Borowitz, Profiles in Ignorance © 2023 Kwiple.com
Anti-science The mixing of Human Embryos with Jellyfish cells to create a glow-in-the-dark human, we say not in Georgia. Tom Kirby, Georgia State Representative (2012-2023) © 2023 Kwiple.com
Books The Art of the Deal   must be considered the founding document of the Celebration stage of the Age of Ignorance. Andy Borowitz, Profiles in Ignorance  © 2023 Kwiple.com
Books One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.  George W. Bush © 2023 Kwiple.com
Cocks of the walk say Surely of all “rights of man”, the right of the ignorant man to be guided by the wiser, to be, gently or forcibly, held to the true course by him, is the indisputablest. Nature herself ordains it. Thomas Carlyle, Chartism © 2023 Kwiple.com
Crime … committed the felony offense of … Phrase appearing one or more times in 35 of the 161 overt acts in furtherance of the Trumpist conspiracy to overturn the results of the 2020 presidential election that are specified in State of Georgia Fulton County v. Donald John Trump and 18 others © 2023 Kwiple.com
Democrats Orange County is a place where you can ask people if that's their real hair color; you can ask them if that diamond is real; you can ask if that car is a lease. But you cannot ask if someone is a Democrat. Katie Porter, a Democrat who flipped an Orange County, California, district in 2018, thereby becoming the first Democrat to win the district and the first single mother ever elected to Congress © 2023 Kwiple.com
Facts Facts are stupid things. Ronald Reagan © 2023 Kwiple.com
Ignorance [T]he Age of Ignorance  has repeatedly enacted a dark principle: in the absence of knowledge, violence fills the void. Andy Borowitz, Profiles in Ignorance  © 2023 Kwiple.com
Ignorance I'm ready for the ‘gotcha’ questions, and they're already starting to come. And when they ask me who is the President of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan, I'm going to say, you know, I don't know. And do you know? And then I'm going to say, How's that going to create one job? Herman Cain, during 2000 Republican presidential primaries © 2023 Kwiple.com
Ignorance I've divided it [the Age of Ignorance] into the Three Stages of Ignorance: Ridicule, Acceptance and Celebration. During the Ridicule stage, ignorance was a magnet for mockery … During the Acceptance stage, ignorance mutated into something more acceptable: a sign that a poltician was authentic, down-to-earth, and a“normal person” … During the Celebration stage … ignorance has become preferable to knowledge, dunces are exalted over experts, and a candidate can win a seat in Congress after blaming wildfires on Jewish space lasers. Andy Borowitz, Profiles in Ignorance  [2022] © 2023 Kwiple.com
Ignorance Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens. William Henry Beveridge © 2023 Kwiple.com
Ignorance Ignorance of the law excuses no man; not that all men know the law, but because 'tis an excuse that every man will plead, and no man can tell how to confute him. John Selden © 2023 Kwiple.com
Ignorance There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism  has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that “my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge”. Isaac Asimov © 2023 Kwiple.com
Ignorance Thoroughly conscious ignorance is the prelude to every real advance in science. James Clerk Maxwell © 2023 Kwiple.com
Ignorance  Trump thought Colorado bordered Mexico. He thought Finland was part of Russia, and that Belgium is a city. He pronounced Namibia “Nambia” and called Thailand “Thighland,” as if it were a strip club. He thought Nepal and Bhutan were parts of India, and called them “Nipple” and “Button.” Andy Borowitz, Profiles in Ignorance  © 2023 Kwiple.com
Kwiplers say Count votes in Congress by: 1. Calculating a Member's Proportional Vote (MPV) for each member, as follows: MPV = SPNP / NLRS where: SPNP = State's Percentage of the National Population NLRS = Number of Legislators Representing the State (in that legislature) 2. Totaling “yes” MPVs and “no” MPVs 3. Passing if total MPV is more than 50 OTHERWISE Abolish the Senate © 2019 Kwiple.com
Post-2022 Senate shituation 15 states (Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Idaho, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Utah, Wyoming) 2020 population: 40,737,128 Senators: 30 Republicans 1 Senator per 1,357,904 people — 1 state (California) 2022 population: 39,995,077 Senators: 2 Democrats 1 Senator per 19,997,539 people 19,997,539 / 1,357,904 = 14.7, therefore: average 15er's vote is worth nearly 15 times a Californian's, a Californian's vote is worth less than 7% of an average 15er's — 1 state (Wyoming) 2022 population = 579,495, therefore: 1 Senator per 289,748 Wyomians, a Wyomian's vote is worth 69 times a Californian's, a Californian's vote is worth 1.4% of a Wyomian's  © 2023 Kwiple.com
Punt returners say Well, Bill, your mother made a choice and we are all living with the consequences of it. Katie Porter responding to Bill Maher, who said he was “squishy” about pro-choice abortion rights, while being interviewed by him on his show © 2023 Kwiple.com
Racketeering Defendants Donald John Trump [& 18 indicted & 30 unindicted co-defendants] …  constituted a criminal organization whose  members and associates engaged in various related criminal activities including, but not limited to, false statements and writings, impersonating a public officer,  forgery, filing false documents, influencing witnesses, computer theft, computer trespass, computer invasion of privacy, conspiracy to defraud the state, acts involving theft, and perjury. State of Georgia Fulton County v. Donald John Trump and 18 others © 2023 Kwiple.com
Racketeering The manner and methods used … to further the goals of the enterprise and to achieve its purposes included, but were not limited to, the following: 1. False Statements to and Solic- itation of State Legislatures … 2. False State- ments to and Solicitation of High-Ranking State Officials … 3. Creation and Distribution of False Electoral College Documents … 4. Harassment and Intimidation of Fulton County Election Worker Ruby Freeman … 5. Solicita- tion of High-Ranking United States States De- partment of Justice Officials … 6. Solicitation of the Vice President of the United States … 7. Unlawful Breach of Election Equipment in Georgia and elsewhere … 8. Obstructive Acts in Furtherance of the Conspiracy and the CoverUp State of Georgia Fulton County v. Donald John Trump and 18 others © 2023 Kwiple.com
Racketeering This criminal organization constituted an en- terprise as that term is defined in O.C.G.A. § 16-14-3(3), that is, a group of individuals in fact. The Defendants and other members and associates of the enterprise had connections and relationships with one another and with the enterprise. The enterprise constituted an  ongoing organization whose members and asso- ciates functioned as a continuing unit for a common purpose of achieving the objectives of the enterprise. The enterprise operated in  Fulton County, Georgia, elsewhere in the State of  Georgia, in other states, … The enterprise oper-  ated for a period of time sufficient to permit its  members and associates to pursue its objectives. State of Georgia Fulton County v. Donald John Trump and 18 others © 2023 Kwiple.com
Racketeering This was an act of racketeering activity under O.C.G.A. § 16-14-3(5)(A)(xxii) and an overt act in furtherance of the conspiracy. Phrase appearing one or more times in 28 of the 161 overt acts in furtherance of the Trumpist conspiracy to overturn the results of the 2020 presidential election that are specified in State of Georgia Fulton County v. Donald John Trump and 18 others © 2023 Kwiple.com
Selfie I'm a C student. He's the PhD. He's the adviser. I'm the president. What does that tell you? George W. Bush © 2023 Kwiple.com
Snapshot It may be that saying nobody owns you, as Logan so often does, helps dull the reality that very few people claim you. Lara Logan portrayed by Elaina Plott Calabro © 2023 Kwiple.com
State of the union What we've done in our politics is create a situation where we’re electing idiots. And so, I don’t look at it through the lens of, is this what I should do or what I shouldn't do. I look at it through the lens of, how do we elect serious people? And I think electing serious people can't be partisan. ex-congresswoman Liz Cheney © 2023 Kwiple.com
 
Trumpists say If you want to get to President Trump, you're going to have to go through me, and you're going to have to go through 75 million Americans just like me. And I'm going to tell you, most of us are card-carrying members of the NRA. That's not a threat — that's a public service announcement. Kari Lake, the defeated Republican candidate for Arizona governor in 2022, on the DOJ's indictment of Trump for mishandling classified documents [NOTE: she says “President Trump”, not “former/ex-President Trump”] [NOTE TOO: 4.3 million NRA members are nowhere near most of 75 million Americans] © 2023 Kwiple.com