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Friday 26th of April 2024

Animal lovers say If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat? Sarah Palin, carnivore © 2015 Kwiple.com
By the numbers Percentage by which a marijuana user is likelier than others to eat fast food five or more times in a given week: 75 Harper's Index, January 2018 © 2017 Kwiple.com
By the numbers Value of food stamps used at U.S. military commissaries last year: $66,978,704 Chances a child in school on a U.S. military base is eligible for free or reduced-cost meals: 2 in 5 Harper's Index, July 2017 © 2017 Kwiple.com
Children Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. Fran Lebowitz, “Parental Guidance”  © 2015 Kwiple.com
Christmas At the risk of being a Grinch, the Christmas season is a pretty good time to consider the possibility that sugar is killing us. Gary Taubes © 2016 Kwiple.com
Cocks of the walk say  I can invite anyone for dinner, and they will come! Donald Trump © 2017 Kwiple.com
Cocks of the walk say  Only nine people in the world have that! Donald Trump, on a card he carries proclaiming, Bearer Eats Free at Any McDonald's Worldwide © 2019 Kwiple.com
Dead-in-the-heads say I would find half a billion dollars of that right out of Planned Parenthood's budget. And the rest of it could come out of food stamps and the entitlements that are being spread out for people that haven't worked in three generations. Steve King, Northwest Missouri State University dropout, chickenhawk who falsely claimed he's Latino, says “I'd like to see an America that is just so homogenous that we look a lot the same,” and Republican Congressman from Iowa's 4th congressional district, explaining where to get an additional $5 billion to build the border wall with Mexico © 2017 Kwiple.com
Dead-in-the-heads say Now we have Pelosi’s gazpacho police spying on members of Congress, spying on the legislative work that we do, spying on our staff and spying on American citizens that want to come talk to their representatives. Marjorie Taylor Greene, February 8, 2022, conjuring up supposed soup Nazis while defending Rep. Troy E. Nehls's (R-Tex.) slanderous allegation that Capitol Police were illegally investigating him when they they followed standard security protocols and entered his office when they saw its door was wide open and no one was there; photographed its condition at the time, and reported the incident to him and his staff  © 2022 Kwiple.com
Diets Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. W. C. Fields © 2015 Kwiple.com
Farming From the 1960s to the '80s, about a third of each dollar American shoppers spent on groceries went back to farmers; in 2016, according to the Farm Bureau, that has fallen to less than 13 cents per dollar. Given total US food spending of about $1.7 trillion each year, that falling share suggests that the changes in the food system could be costing US farmers at least $150 billion a year – certainly many times the $18 billion in federal farm subsidies that were paid to them in 2018. The Nation, February 18, 2020 © 2020 Kwiple.com
Food At least you know what they are putting in it. Donald Trump, explaining why he eats so much fast food © 2016 Kwiple.com
Food “Food doesn't grow here anymore,” [Ana] Jorge Jorge said. “That's why I would send my son north.” Guatemalan woman whose two sons died of malnutrition-related diseases, commenting on her third son. Quoted by Nicholas Kristof, New York Times, June 5, 2019 © 2019 Kwiple.com
Food Hey Johnny — am I nuts, or does this have a hint of oak? Wine drinker, holding up a glass while sitting at a bar, to the bartender, in a July 10, 2000, New Yorker cartoon by Edward Koren © 2023 Kwiple.com
Food I eat whatever’s in front of me — usually ribs — and follow it with a martini. Modern medicine ensures  I won’t die straight away. It's a glorious time to be alive. Gary Scheiyngart, New York Times, August 27, 2023 © 2023 Kwiple.com
Food I like chili, but not enough to discuss it with someone from Texas. Calvin Trillin © 2017 Kwiple.com
Food If you've ever eaten asparagus, you may have noticed that, soon after ingestion, it imparts a strange, somewhat unpleasant scent to your urine. But then again, you may not have noticed anything at all—and there's a scientific explanation for that too. Andy Brunning, Why Does Asparagus Make Your Pee Smell? © 2016 Kwiple.com
Food In 1930 the average US family spent 24.3 per cent of its income on food. By 2007 that number had fallen to 9.8 per cent. This is because America’s food system, like most of the world's, became dramatically more concentrated, industrialised and globalised over that period. Rana Foroohar, Financial Times, December 11/12, 2021 © 2021 Kwiple.com
Food Its talent for overcoming its own missteps was one reason I gave it four stars in its last review in The New York Times, in 2015. … With time, Mr. Humm may stop overcompensating for ditching the animal products, too. Beets aren’t very good at pretending to be meat, but their ability to taste like beets is unrivaled. Pete Wells, New York Times, September 28, 2021, review of Daniel Humm's restaurant, One Madison Park, which replaced animal products with vegetables © 2021 Kwiple.com
Food Klobuchar got laughs with her opening line inquiring how everyone had enjoyed their salad, a sideways reference to reports that she had once berated an aide for not bringing her utensils with which to eat her lunch, forcing her to eat a salad with a hair comb. The Minnesota Dem said she thought the meal needed “a little scalp oil and a pinch of dandruff.” Washington Post, March 2, 2019, reporting on the Gridiron dinner hosted by Washington DC's top journalists © 2020 Kwiple.com
Food Most of the 390,000 plant species on Earth rely almost entirely on them [insects] for their reproduction. This living dance has been performed for 130m years and out of its interlacing pattern emerge trees and crops essential to the human diet. Indeed, the “free” pollination service offered by bees and flies to our primary food stuffs has been valued as highly as $577bn a year by the Intergovernmental Science-Policy Platform on Biodiversity and Ecosystem Services. Financial Times, September 24, 2021 © 2021 Kwiple.com
Food No soup for you! The Soup Nazi, in the “The Soup Nazi” episode of Seinfeld © 2015 Kwiple.com
Food Pile it high and sell it cheap  Grocers' maxim © 2021 Kwiple.com
Food Public health officials here describe a crisis of poverty and malnutrition among the tens of thousands of farmworkers and their families who tend to the fields of lettuce, broccoli, celery, cauliflower and spinach, among many other crops, in an area called the salad bowl of the nation. New York Times, November 24, 2016, on conditions in California's Salinas Valley, where farmworkers and their families subsist on a diet of soda and fast food because they can't afford the food they pick © 2016 Kwiple.com
Food The report [by the EAT-Lancet Commission on Healthy Diets From Sustainable Food Systems] suggested that a sustainable diet would include no more than 98g of red meat, 203g of poultry and 196g of fish per week. For someone on a low income in Asia or Africa, this would mean a lot more meat than before, but for the average person in the US it would mean a drop of about 85 per cent. Clearly, this is not good news for the meat industry. Bee Wilson, Financial Times, February 16, 2022 [98g = 3.46oz, 203g = 7.16oz, 196g = 6.91oz] © 2022 Kwiple.com
Food Satisfy your craving for zero human contact. — — — — — Nothing ruins a good meal like other New Yorkers. Slogans for Seamless, a food delivery service promoting and profiting from social isolation in hip neighborhoods like Williamsburg © 2016 Kwiple.com
Food SEALS TASTE LIKE CHICKEN  Slogan on T-shirt for shark tourists © 2019 Kwiple.com
Food Shake and shake The catsup bottle, None will come, And then a lot'll. Richard Armour © 2016 Kwiple.com
Food Since the 1950s, broiler chickens have roughly quadrupled in size, and it now takes them six weeks, not 15, to grow to slaughter weight. These are inventions, not just chickens. Ezra Klein, New York Times, December 16, 2021 © 2021 Kwiple.com
Food Skittles are candy; refugees are people. It's an inappropriate analogy. We respectfully refrain from further comment, as that may be misinterpreted as marketing. Mars, Incorporated, maker of Skittles, protesting Donald Trump, Jr.'s comparison of a bowl of poisoned Skittles to Syrian refugees © 2016 Kwiple.com
Food Stop cooking Eat like astronauts! Tagline for Space Nutrients Station, the maker of 100%Food, which is 670 calories of bottled foodstuffs slurped by programmers after adding water © 2016 Kwiple.com
Food Tell me what you eat: I will tell you what you are. Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin © 2020 Kwiple.com
Food This summer, Wendy's, where I often buy lunch, has introduced the verb biggiesize, as in “Would you to biggiesize that combo?” meaning double the fries and pop, and something like biggiesizing seems to have happened to the female guest population. Barbara Ehrenreich, Nickel and Dimed © 2016 Kwiple.com
Food Those confronting potentially life-threatening levels of so-called food insecurity in the developing world are expected to nearly double this year to 265 million, according to the United Nations World Food Program. New York Times, September 13, 2020 © 2020 Kwiple.com
Food Tic Tac respects all women. We find the recent statements and behaviour completely inappropriate and unacceptable. Tic Tac USA tweet denouncing Donald Trump's comment that “I've got to use some Tic Tacs, just in case I start kissing her” © 2016 Kwiple.com
Food The waiters know well Trump's personal preferences. As he settles down, they bring him a Diet Coke, while the rest of us are served water, with the Vice President sitting at one end of the table. With the salad course, Trump is served what appears to be Thousand Island dressing instead of the creamy vinaigrette for his guests. At the dessert course, he gets two scoops of vanilla ice cream with his chocolate cream pie, instead of the single scoop for everyone else. Time magazine, “Donald Trump After Hours” © 2017 Kwiple.com
Food THE PRODUCT  WATER NEEDED TO PRODUCE IT an almond a walnut a head of lettuce a cluster of grapes an egg a pound of chicken a gallon of milk a pound of beef  1 gallon 5 gallons 12 gallons 24 gallons 53 gallons 468 gallons 880 gallons 1,800 gallons  based on data created by Pacific Institute and National Geographic © 2015 Kwiple.com
Food We must stop feeding food crops to animals and engines. Sayed Azam-Ali, Financial Times, July 18, 2022 © 2022 Kwiple.com
Food What are you feeding him? Potica? Pope Francis to Melania Trump, pointing to Donald Trump [potica is a traditional Slovenian pastry] © 2017 Kwiple.com
Food When the people shall have  nothing more to eat, they will eat the rich. Jean-Jacques Rousseau © 2018 Kwiple.com
Food aid The US, the world’s largest provider of food aid, requires it to be in the form of American-grown food, rather than cash. And at least half of it must be sent on American-owned ships. As a result, a recently approved food aid bill for African nations will see the US spend $388mm to transport $282mn in food products. Economists and food assistance experts say the world should focus on sending cash and expertise, rather than just food stocks. It is much less expensive and much more efficient to help farmers produce locally, adapting crops to their climate and soil conditions. Megan Greene, Financial Times, May 16, 2022 © 2022 Kwiple.com
Food fight McDonald's leader Ronald just stated he has a “burger on his desk at all times.” Will someone from his big shoed, red nosed regime inform him that I too have a burger on my desk, but mine is a box meal which is bigger and more powerful than his, and mine has gravy! #nuclearbutton @KFC_UKI {KFC UK & Ireland] 7:05 AM - Jan 3, 2018 © 2018 Kwiple.com
Food for thought Most people need their heads to be filled with thoughts. You are not going to feed people with some highly intellectual discourse. Most people eat simple foods.  Not the kind of food we are having tonight. Generally most people consume very simple-meaning beliefs. This is normal. There is haute cuisine, and there is McDonald's. Everyone takes advantage of such people all over the world. Vladislav Surkov, during an interview with Henry Foy, Financial Times, June 18, 2021 © 2021 Kwiple.com
Food waste In the United Kingdom, the amount of bread wasted totals 1 million loaves, or 24 million slices, every day, according to the Office of National Statistics. Food waste in the United States is put at 30 to 40 percent of the total food supply, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture. New York Times, August 25, 2021 © 2021 Kwiple.com
Kwiplers say Enforce standard-of-identity rules like — You can't call it “juice” if it's less than 100% juice — You can't call it “mayo” if it contains no egg yolk — You can't call it “milk” if it contains no milk © 2015 Kwiple.com
Kwiplers say Implement a national standard for labeling all food containing genetically-modified ingredients © 2015 Kwiple.com
Kwiplers say Outlaw confined animal feeding operations (CAFOs) and gestation crates, both concentration camps for animals © 2015 Kwiple.com
Kwiplers say Prohibit agribusinesses from using fracking wastewater to irrigate crops © 2015 Kwiple.com
Kwiplers say Require warning labels on all produce irrigated with fracking wastewater © 2015 Kwiple.com
Makin' bacon Mmm … machine-gun bacon. Ha ha ha. Ted Cruz, relishing bacon cooked Texas-style by wrapping it around the barrel of an assault rifle and shooting until it reaches doneness © 2015 Kwiple.com
Making money the new-fashioned way Being a meal deliveryman © 2023 Kwiple.com
Making money the new-fashioned way Food fraud © 2016 Kwiple.com
Making money the new-fashioned way Owning a ghost kitchen © 2020 Kwiple.com
Mob violence If you see someone getting ready to throw a tomato, knock the crap out of them. I promise you I will pay for the legal fees. Donald Trump, February 1, 2016, Cedar Rapids, IA and elsewhere © 2016 Kwiple.com
Punt returners say I'm going to hope … eating it? Stephen Colbert responding to reports in Fire and Fury,  by Michael Wolff, that Donald and Melania Trump have separate bedrooms and that “If he was not having his 6:30 dinner with Steve Bannon, then … he was in bed by that time with a cheeseburger" © 2018 Kwiple.com
Punt returners say That's all right, I don't eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken. Dick Gregory,  responding to a white waitress who told him, “We don't serve colored people here” © 2017 Kwiple.com
Republicans say Denying food stamps to anyone capable of doing any kind of work, regardless of whether it's available, what it pays, or what it costs them or their families is change we believe in  © 2017 Kwiple.com
Republicans say Slashing funding for food stamps is change we believe in © 2017 Kwiple.com
Resisters say Public trust 24% 27% Trump Gas Station Sushi   Placard, Washington, DC, Women's March 2019, January 19, 2019  © 2019 Kwiple.com
Resisters say You've ruined Diet Coke for us all!  Placard, Washington, DC, Women's March, January 20, 2018 © 2018 Kwiple.com
Selfie I will credit my father, he invented … green eggs and ham. He did it two ways. The easy way was he would put green food coloring in … But if you take spinach and mix it into the eggs, the eggs turn green … I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam I am. Ted Cruz © 2016 Kwiple.com
Selfie I can't remember the last time I was drunk. Rudy Giuliani © 2021 Kwiple.com
Selfie Yes, we drank beer. My friends and I. Boys and girls. Yes, we drank beer. I liked beer. Still like beer. We drank beer. The drinking age, as I noted was 18, so the seniors were legal. Senior year in high school, people were legal to drink. Yeah, we drank beer. And I said, sometimes we probably had too many beers and sometimes other people had too many beers. We drank beer. We liked beer. Brett Kavanaugh, when asked, “Did you consume alcohol during your high school years?” © 2018 Kwiple.com
Selfie I like our ads. I like beautiful women eating burgers in bikinis. I think it's very American.  Andrew F. Puzder, chief executive of CKE Restaurants, the parent chain of Hardee's and Carl's Jr., and Trump's choice for Secretary of Labor  © 2016 Kwiple.com
Selfie What I love just about more than anything are waffles when they're done properly with butter and syrup. There's nothing better  than properly done waffles with butter and syrup all over them. Donald Trump © 2017 Kwiple.com
Sexual harassment If you want to make the money, you'll learn to laugh. A West Virginia waitress dependent on tips to make a living, quoted in New York Times, March 12, 2018 © 2018 Kwiple.com
Sleepers at the wheel say Ballpark food tastes best © 2018 Kwiple.com
Sleepers at the wheel say Finish what's on your plate © 2015 Kwiple.com
Snapshot Valium for breakfast, marijuna for lunch, and quaaludes for dinner. Jordan Belfort, the real Wolf of Wall Street, portrayed by an unnamed associate quoted by The Guardian, September 30, 2017 © 2017 Kwiple.com
Surely you jest The Billy Graham rule © 2017 Kwiple.com
Surely you jest The Billy Graham rule © 2017 Kwiple.com
Surely you jest Giving a gift of thyme © 2015 Kwiple.com
Surely you jest Milk Drinkers Are Turning to Powder citation newspaper headline quoted by David Boersema Philosophy Now, Dec. 2015/Jan. 2016 © 2016 Kwiple.com
Surely you jest Pizza crust made with 28 pigs in a blanket © 2015 Kwiple.com
Surely you jest Pizza with cheddar cheese sauce on a soft pretzel dough crust © 2015 Kwiple.com
Surely you jest A wealthy older couple from New York buy a ranch in Montana, where they set up a home befitting them, including a butler and other staff. Before leaving for the morning, they tell the butler, “The Cohens are coming for brunch at noon. Please have the table set for four.” When they return, they notice the table had been set for eight. “What happened?,” they ask. “Mrs. Cohen called,” said the butler. “She said she's bringing the Bagels and the Bialys.” © 2017 Kwiple.com
Surely you jest United Airlines Put Out a Cookbook so You Can Eat Airplane Food at Home headline, Travel+Leisure magazine, December 29, 2018 © 2019 Kwiple.com
Surely you jest We remember those suffering under the yolk of authoritarianism and extremism From President Trump's proclamation declaring December 10, 2017, as Human Rights Day © 2018 Kwiple.com
Trumpists say Fuck Bud Light! Fuck Anheuser-Busch! Have a nice day. Kid Rock, in an ejaculatory burst of transphobic machismo rhetoric, after shooting off a high-capacity magazine's load of bullets at packs of Bud Light beer, made by the Anheuser-Busch company, in reponse to its advertisement in which the transgender woman, Dylan Mulvaney, is the spokesperson © 2023 Kwiple.com
Trumpists say I'm not going to go open a court case saying this: [Hillary] Clinton eats children. But I can believe that she might eat children. Doug Sweet, of Hudgins, Virginia, one of the mob of Trump supporters arrested for invading the Capitol © 2021 Kwiple.com
Trumpists say I’ve been proud to be the leader standing up for chocolate milk. Elise Stefanik © 2023 Kwiple.com
Truth Nobody with a terminal illness goes from the United States to Europe for a piece of Bavarian cream pie and then when they get there and they don't have it he says, “Ah, I'll just have some coffee.” There's no truth to that. Jerry, in the “The Soup Nazi” episode of Seinfeld © 2015 Kwiple.com
Wealth inequality Since the beginning of the pandemic, the total net worth of America's billionaires, all 686 of them, has jumped close to a trillion dollars. In September, nearly 23 million Americans reported going without enough to eat, according to the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities. Ben Ehrenreich, New York Times Magazine, Novenber 8, 2020 [That's close to $1,457,725,948 per billionaire] [~ $1,000,000,000,000 / 23,000,000 = ~ $43,478 per food insecure person] © 2020 Kwiple.com
 
Wretched excess Cheeseburgers garnished with a hot dog and potato chips © 2015 Kwiple.com