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Friday 27th of March 2026

2016 Presidential election Mike looks more like a vice-president — he's out of central casting. Donald Trump's explanation to Chris Christie of why he chose Pence as his running mate instead of him © 2023 Kwiple.com
American Dream Affording all the tattoos I want © 2018 Kwiple.com
Artificial intelligence In Shenzhen facial recognition is used identify jaywalkers; names and pictures go up on a screen. In Beijing the municipality has started using the technology to catch thieves of toilet paper in public restrooms (its system also prevents people from taking more than 60 centimetres of paper within a nine-minute period). The Economist, September 9, 2017 © 2017 Kwiple.com
Bad news You wake up early every day to comb your hair and pick out the brightest shirt/tie combo with your strongest pinstripe suit thinking this is going to be the year . . . then this happens. citation Orrin Hatch, 5:52 AM - 18 Apr 2018, octogenarian Senator from Utah, commenting on news that The Hill was discontinuing its annual list of the “50 Most Beautiful” people in Washington, DC © 2018 Kwiple.com
Beauty Consider — why do men find women with pale skin, luxuriant locks, and curvaceous figures attractive? One can come up with examples based on nutritional status, but only after the fact. There is no reason, a priori, why gentlemen don't prefer bald women with hairy ears and enormous feet. Henry Gee, The Accidental Species © 2017 Kwiple.com
By the numbers Estimated chance that a white woman in Washington, D.C., has a tanning salon addiction: 1 in 5 Harper's Index, January 2018 © 2017 Kwiple.com
a By the numbers A person who is flat-chested is very hard to be a 10. Donald Trump © 2016 Kwiple.com
Cocks of the walk say I hear he's nice looking. I think I'm better looking than him. I do. I do. Donald Trump comparing himself to Conor Lamb, who's 38 years younger and not orange © 2018 Kwiple.com
Cocks of the walk say We have the greatest face in the history of politics. Donald Trump © 2018 Kwiple.com
Dead-in-the-heads say Birth Control Makes Women Unattractive and Crazy headline, Breitbart News, December 8, 2015 © 2017 Kwiple.com
Employment Employers can already act on their prejudices to deny people a job. But facial recognition [software] could make such bias routine, enabling firms to filter all job applications for ethnicity and signs of intelligence and sexuality. The Economist, September 9, 2017 © 2017 Kwiple.com
Fashion BORN TO BE WIDE  Slogan on T-shirt for endomorphs © 2019 Kwiple.com
Looks American culture places a great emphasis on smiling. Dr. Stjepan Mestrović, expert witness for Private Lynndie England at her court-martial, explaining why she's smiling in photos showing her pointing her rifle at the balls of a naked Abu Ghraib prisoner © 2017 Kwiple.com
Looks Even the slope of our nose has become a choice. Stephen Baker, The Numerati  © 2017 Kwiple.com
Looks Heidi Klum. Sadly, she's no longer a 10. Donald Trump [It's unclear whether Trump was referring to the fact that Klum had turned 40 or that she had had children, or both] © 2023 Kwiple.com
Looks It used to be said that by a certain age a man had the face that he deserved. Nowadays, he has the face he can afford. Martin Amis © 2017 Kwiple.com
Looks It's like we're twins. Donald Trump to Viktor Orbán, Hungary's pudgy strongman  © 2022 Kwiple.com
Looks Lady Alice Chapman, his hostess's daughter, a dowdy dull girl, with one of those characteristic British faces that, once seen, are never remembered. Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray © 2021 Kwiple.com
Looks The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he made so many of them. Abraham Lincoln © 2015 Kwiple.com
Looks Make me look sexy. Did you see the one they made of Sam Bankman-Fried? It made him look like a superstar. Donald Trump, Jr. to the courtroom sketch artist where he was appearing as a defendant in a trial along with his father and siblings © 2023 Kwiple.com
Looks  People in the Delta look better dead, whether in their coffins or obituaries. Gayden Metcalfe and Charlotte Hays, Being Dead Is No Excuse: The Official Southern Ladies Guide to Hosting the Perfect Funeral © 2018 Kwiple.com
Looks Researchers at Stanford University have demonstrated that, when shown a picture of one gay man, and one straight man, the [facial recognition] algorithm could attribute their sexuality correctly 81% of the time. Humans managed only 61%. In countries where homosexuality is a crime, software which promises to infer sexuality from a face is an alarming prospect. The Economist, September 9, 2017 © 2017 Kwiple.com
Looks She got her looks from her father. He was a plastic surgeon. Groucho Marx © 2016 Kwiple.com
Looks She stood there bright as the sun on that California coast He was a midwestern boy on his own She looked at him with those soft eyes, so innocent and blue He knew right then he was too far from home He was too far from home Bob Seger, “Hollywood Nights” © 2017 Kwiple.com
Looks There were 18,489 buttocks augmentations performed by licensed doctors in the United States in 2016, up 26 percent from the year before, and 2,999 buttocks implants, an 18 percent increase, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. New York Times, January 3, 2019 © 2019 Kwiple.com
Making money the new-fashioned way Being a cover model for boddice rippers © 2016 Kwiple.com
Men Men seldom make passes At girls who wear glasses Dorothy Parker, “News Item” © 2017 Kwiple.com
Politics Politics is show business for ugly people. Roger Stone,  the GOP's “king of dirty tricks” © 2016 Kwiple.com
Racists say Have you ever noticed how all composite pictures of wanted criminals resemble Jesse Jackson? Rush Limbaugh, Trump's Presidential Medal of Freedom winner for “decades of tireless devotion to our country” © 2020 Kwiple.com
Selfie I'm obsessed with the fact that my mother genuinely resembles Groucho Marx. Woody Allen © 2023 Kwiple.com
Selfie My father said, during all the years I lived with him, that I was the ugliest boy he had ever seen, and I had absolutely no reason to doubt him. James Baldwin © 2019 Kwiple.com
Selfie Ankles, or the lack of them, have long been the bane of my life. Fiona Golfar, How To Spend It, Juily 30, 2020 © 2020 Kwiple.com
Selfie I really want to address the elephant in the room. This is what I look like now. I'm not happy about it either. Very few people would be happy about looking like an anti-smoking poster. Jon Stewart, The Problem with Jon Stewart, 2021 © 2022 Kwiple.com
Sleepers at the wheel say Appearances don't count © 2015 Kwiple.com
Snapshot He's 37. He looks 27. He's the only veteran who came back from Afghanistan looking refreshed. When he campaigns door-to-door, nobody answers because they'e afraid he's a Mormon. Pete Buttigieg portrayed by Bill Maher June 21, 2019 © 2019 Kwiple.com
Snapshot When I met Ted in 1988, I had no word to describe him, but only because I didn't speak German. Thank you, Germans, for “Backpfeifengesicht.” [a face that should be punched] Ted Cruz portrayed by Craig Mazin, his former Princeton roommate © 2016 Kwiple.com
Snapshot [He] looks like the guy who fired you. Mitt Romney portrayed by Mike Huckabee © 20213 Kwiple.com
Snapshot “Pharma Bro” Martin Shkreli can't find jurors who don't already hate him — — — — — — — — — — — One potential juror admitted, “I looked right at him and, in my head, I said ‘that's a snake’” Martin Shkreli portrayed by Salon headlines, June 27, 2017 © 2017 Kwiple.com
Snapshot Trump's nose has grown so long he could putt with it. Donald Trump portrayed by Rick Reilly © 2019 Kwiple.com
Surely you jest Asking your bridesmaids to have and pay for Botox/plastic surgery  so they'll look better in your wedding photos © 2017 Kwiple.com
Surely you jest Designer stubble © 2015 Kwiple.com
Surely you jest Keep an eye out © 2015 Kwiple.com
Surely you jest Nose hair extensions © 2017 Kwiple.com
Surely you jest Pasties for preventing men's nipples from showing through their shirts © 2015 Kwiple.com
Surely you jest People having lip surgery to look better in their selfies © 2016 Kwiple.com
Surely you jest Temporary tattoos for adults © 2015 Kwiple.com
Surely you jest A Texas divorcée, not to be named here, underwent nine plastic surgeries to make herself look like Melania Trump, “the most beautiful woman” © 2017 Kwiple.com
Tech bros say Using algorithms to generate videos of people saying things they never said and conveying facial expressions for emotions they never felt that are so realistic humans can't detect the fakery poses no threat of more fake news; no threat of more people being subjected to character assassination; no threat of more people believing that everybody lies all the time; no threat to national security; no threat to democracy --> © 2018 Kwiple.com
Trumpists say Why is it that the women with the least  likelihood of getting pregnant are the ones most worried about having abortions? Nobody wants to impregnate you if you look like a thumb. Matt Gaetz © 2022 Kwiple.com
Trumpists say  In 20 years, Russia will be  the only country that is recognizably European. Ann Coulter, 8:42 PM - 3 Jun 2017 © 2018 Kwiple.com
 
Washington, D.C. Washington is Hollywood for ugly people adage © 2016 Kwiple.com