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water
Monday 4th of May 2026
1%ers
What you soon come to understand is
how different everything feels from
the water. Luca from the hotel says
with all his heart, “There are places
that once you see them, they change
you.” So you ask, “Where would you
take someone special?” He studies you
for a moment before giving away his
secret. Then he sketches a simple map
and makes you promise to tell no one.
Later you swim at his secret beach,
then rest on the deck of the gozzo
while the sun warms you. You think,
“I will keep this with me forever.”
Advertisement for
Belmond Hotel Splendido, Portofino, Italy
How to Spend It, November 7, 2015
© 2015 Kwiple.com
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Bad news
Senate confirms Scott Pruitt,
the preeminent pimp for polluters,
as EPA administrator
If water becomes undrinkable
and air becomes unbreathable,
blame him and his enablers:
Lamar Alexander (R)
Steve Daines (R)
Johnny Isakson (R)
Pat Roberts (R)
John Barrasso (R)
Mike Enzi (R)
Ron Johnson (R)
Mike Rounds (R)
Roy Blunt (R)
Joni Ernst (R)
John Kennedy (R)
Marco Rubio (R)
John Boozman (R)
Deb Fischer (R)
James Lankford (R)
Ben Sasse (R)
Richard Burr (R)
Jeff Flake (R)
Mike Lee
Tim Scott (R)
Shelley Moore-Capito (R)
Cory Gardner (R)
Joe Manchin (D)
Richard Shelby (R)
Bill Cassidy (R)
Lindsey Graham (R)
Mitch McConnell (R)
Luther Strange
Thad Cochran (R)
Chuck Grassley (R)
Jerry Moran (R)
Dan Sullivan (R)
Rob Corker (R)
Orrin Hatch (R)
Lisa Murkowski (R)
John Thune (R)
John Cornyn (R)
Heidi Heitkamp (D)
Rand Paul (R)
Thom Tillis (R)
Tom Cotton (R)
Dean Heller (R)
David Perdue (R)
Pat Toomey
Mike Crapo (R)
John Hoeven (R)
Rob Portman (R)
Roger Wicker (R)
Ted Cruz (R)
James Inhofe (R)
James Risch (R)
Todd Young
American Electric Power (utility)
Liberty 2.0 (energy industry super-PAC)
American Fuel & Petrochemical Mfgrs (lobby)
Lucas Oil Products (oil company)
Americans for Prosperity (anti-EPA lobby)
Murray Energy (coal copmany)
Continental Resources (oil company)
Oklahoma Gas & electric (utility)
Devon Energy (oil and gas company)
Oklahoma Strong Leadership (his super-PAC)
KochPAC (Koch Industries PAC)
Protecting America Now (anti-EPA lobby)
© 2017 Kwiple.com
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Close, but no cigar
We've all passed a lot of water
since then.
Samuel Goldwyn
© 2017 Kwiple.com
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Conspiracy theorists say
Tap water?
You're drinking toilet water
with birth control drugs in them.
Chloramine, and on top of that
they're putting in fluoride.
Call me a conspiracy theorist,
but it's a mind-control drug
that has no benefit to
our dental health.
Mukhande Singh
(née Christopher Sanborn),
founder of Live Water, a purveyor of
unfiltered, untreated, unsterilized
– “raw” – water
© 2018 Kwiple.com
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Conspiracy theorists say
What do you think tap water is?
It's a gay bomb baby. …
I don't like them
putting chemicals in the water.
They turn the freaking frogs gay.
Alex Jones
© 2018 Kwiple.com
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Diets
Once,
during Prohibition,
I was forced to live for days
on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
© 2015 Kwiple.com
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Food
THE PRODUCT
WATER NEEDED
TO PRODUCE IT
an almond
a walnut
a head of lettuce
a cluster of grapes
an egg
a pound of chicken
a gallon of milk
a pound of beef
1 gallon
5 gallons
12 gallons
24 gallons
53 gallons
468 gallons
880 gallons
1,800 gallons
based on data created by
Pacific Institute and National Geographic
© 2015 Kwiple.com
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Fracking
Together, oil and gas operators reported
using about 1.5 trillion gallons of water
since 2011, much of it from aquifers,
the Times found.
Fracking a single oil or gas well
can now use as much as
40 million gallons of water or more.
These mega fracking projects,
called “monster fracks” by researchers,
have become the industry norm.
They barely existed a decade ago.
Now they account for almost two out of
every three fracking wells in Texas,
the Times analysis found.
New York Times, September 25, 2023
© 2023 Kwiple.com
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Kwiplers say
Prohibit pipelines carrying oil
and other hazardous liquids
from passing through
watersheds
© 2015 Kwiple.com
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Kwiplers say
Require warning labels on all produce
irrigated with fracking wastewater
© 2015 Kwiple.com
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Parks
Yellowstone
is more valuable than gold mining
slogan
of local residents and businesses opposing
efforts to allow gold mining on the fringes
of Yellowstone National Park and in the
upper Yellowtone River watershed
© 2017 Kwiple.com
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Money in politics
Money is like water;
it will follow whatever path is open to it.
Ganesh Sitaraman,
The Crisis of the Middle-Class Constitution
© 2021 Kwiple.com
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Republicans say
Letting mining companies
dump waste into streams again
is change we believe in
© 2017 Kwiple.com
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Resisters say
I prefer
my water
non-flammable
Placard,
Youngstown, Ohio, anti-fracking protest,
November 28, 2011
© 2017 Kwiple.com
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Surely you jest
Saying,
“Water's not just for drinking,”
Republicans fulfill a campaign promise
by passing the pro-polluter PIPSIS,
The Piss in a Pond,
Shit in a Stream Act of 2017
An alternative fact
[they rescinded the Stream Protection Rule]
© 2017 Kwiple.com
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Surely you jest
The water from the tap
just doesn't taste quite as refreshing.
Now is that because I saw it come off
the roof, and anything from the roof
feels special?
Maybe.
Skip Battle,
anti-tap-, pro-raw- water guy who
drinks water fed into his stone garden
from water collection panels
installed on his roof
© 2018 Kwiple.com
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Water
And then there's
the rising crisis of affordability.
With federal funding cut to a dribble,
utilities have tried to fill in with
constant hikes in water bills.
Our average monthly rate
has jumped more than a third since 2012,
and analysts estimate that within
three years up to 36% of households
won't be able to afford drinking water.
The American Water Works Association
reports that income fully covers costs in
only one in five systems, and four out of five
large utilities expect they will not be able
to provide full service five years from now.
Hightower Lowdown, May 2021
© 2021 Kwiple.com
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Water
0
Many of the aquifers that supply 90 percent
of the nation’s water systems,
and which have transformed
vast stretches of America into some
some of world’s most bountiful farmland,
are being severely depleted.
These declines are threatening
irreversible harm to the American
economy and society as a whole.
…
Of the nation’s 143,070 water systems,
128,362 rely primarily on groundwater,
according to the
Environmental Protection Agency.
New York Times, August 28, 2023
© 2023 Kwiple.com
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Water
One study found that 88 percent of water in
17 Western states was used by agriculture.
Only 7 percent was consumed by homes.
Alfalfa fields single-handedly drank up al-
most three times as much as all households.
California produces a bounty of almonds,
which gulp about 3.2 gallons of water for
each almond, according to a 2019 study.
Researchers say that the Southwest
is experiencing a megadrought that
is the worst in at least 1,200 years.
Wells have been drying up as far north
as Oregon, and the Great Salt Lake
in Utah has shrunk by two-thirds.
Nicholas Kristof,
New York Times, May 15, 2023
© 2023 Kwiple.com
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Water
There is not enough rain,
so their only option is to migrate.
Principal of a rural middle school
in the Guatemalan highlands, where
drought and winds destroyed successive
corn crops, speaking about his students.
Quoted by Nicholas Kristof,
New York Times, June 5, 2019
© 2019 Kwiple.com
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Water
You have millions of gallons of water
pouring down from the North,
with the snow caps in Canada.
All pouring down. And they have
a, essentially, a very large faucet.
And you turn the frauet,
and it takes one day to turn it,
it's massive — it's as big as the wall of
that buildling right there behind you.
And you turn that, and all that water
goes aimlessly into the Pacific.
And if they turned it back, all that
water would come right down here
and right into Los Angeles.
Donald Trump, on how to solve
California's drought and fire problems
© 2024 Kwiple.com
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