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Craig Mazin

Tuesday 25th of August 2026

Snapshot Getting emails blaming me not smothering Ted Cruz in his sleep in 1988. What kind of monster do you think I am? A really prescient one? Ted Cruz portrayed in a tweet by Craig Mazin, his former Princeton roommate © 2016 Kwiple.com
Snapshot I remember very specifically that he had a book in Spanish and the title was “Was Karl Marx a Satanist?” And I thought, who is this person? Ted Cruz portrayed by Craig Mazin, his former Princeton roommate © 2016 Kwiple.com
Snapshot I would rather have anybody else be the president of the United States. Anyone. I would rather pick someone from the phone book. Ted Cruz portrayed by Craig Mazin, his former Princeton roommate © 2016 Kwiple.com
Snapshot A nightmare of a human being. Ted Cruz portrayed by Craig Mazin, his former Princeton roommate © 2016 Kwiple.com
Snapshot Ted Cruz is not the Zodiac Killer. The Zodiac Killer actually got things done. Ted Cruz portrayed in a tweet by Craig Mazin, his former Princeton roommate © 2016 Kwiple.com
 
Snapshot When I met Ted in 1988, I had no word to describe him, but only because I didn't speak German. Thank you, Germans, for “Backpfeifengesicht.” [a face that should be punched] Ted Cruz portrayed by Craig Mazin, his former Princeton roommate © 2016 Kwiple.com