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9/11 Nobody’s gotten to the bottom of 9/11, unfortunately. They should have, as to the maniacs that did that horrible thing, to our city, to our country, to the world. So nobody's really been there. But I can tell you that there are a lot of  really great people that are out here today. And we’re going to have a lot of fun and we’re going to celebrate. Donald Trump, July 28, 2022, defending hosting the Saudi-backed LIV Golf Tournament at his golf club in Bedminster, New Jersey © 2022 Kwiple.com
9/11 They say there is a lot of people watching. I can’t imagine why. Donald Trump, on memorializing the 20th anniversary of 9/11 by watching him and Junior gigging for an undisclosed sum as ringside commentators for a pay-per-view boxing match in Florida between washed up fighters whose combined ages exceeded 100 © 2021 Kwiple.com
Bullshit “I saw Trump's ball go in the lake,” one of the caddies told me. “I mean, I saw the ripples! But by the time we caught up to him and his cart, the ball was back on the fairway. When we asked him what happened, he said, “'Must've been the tide.'” Rick Reilly, Commander in Cheat © 2019 Kwiple.com
Bullshitters say This isn't about the President being against anyone. This is about the President and millions of Americans being for something – like honoring our flag.  Sarah Huckabee Sanders, on Trump's attacks on black NFL players © 2017 Kwiple.com
By the numbers Average number of hours by which an hour of running increases one's life span: 7 Harper's Index, July 2017 © 2017 Kwiple.com
By the numbers Estimated ratio of time Trump spent in intelligence briefings to golfing during his presidency's first month: 1:4 Harper's Index, May 2017 © 2017 Kwiple.com
By the numbers Value of the prizes revoked from the Irish owners of a greyhound racing champion that tested positive for cocaine: $35,000 Harper's Index, December 2017 © 2017 Kwiple.com
Class struggle Hey, hey, that's OK You're gonna work for us one day Chant repeated by fans of a Newport Beach, CA, high school football team losing to a team from Costa Mesa, CA Quoted by Joan Didion in “Where I Was From”  © 2017 Kwiple.com
Close, but no cigar Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. Joe Theismann © 2017 Kwiple.com
Cocks of the walk say When it comes to golf, very few people can beat me. Donald Trump © 2019 Kwiple.com
Cocks of the walk say You know the NFL ratings are down massively. Massively. The NFL ratings are down massively. Now the number one reason happens to be they like watching what's happening on … [pointing to his midriff with both hands] Donald Trump [Ratings are down for all sports not because people prefer watching Trump's midriff but because young people prefer being online to watching sports on TV] © 2017 Kwiple.com
Experience counts The more I practice at golf, the luckier I get. Saying originated by Gary Player © 2021 Kwiple.com
Freedom of speech It's not about race. It's not about free speech. They can do free speech on their own time. Steven Mnuchin, objecting to NFL players who kneel during singing of the national anthem as a protest against racial injustice © 2017 Kwiple.com
Freedom of speech Wouldn't you love to see one of the NFL owners, when somebody disrespects our flag, to say, “Get that son of a bitch off the field right now. Out! He's fired. He's fired!” Donald Trump, on NFL players who kneel during singing of the national anthem as a protest against racial injustice © 2017 Kwiple.com
Hypocrites say I left today's Colts game because @POTUS and I will not dignify any event that disrespects our soldiers, our Flag, or our National Anthem. Mike Pence, 10:08 AM – 8 Oct 2017, on a stunt he planned with Trump that cost taxpayers hundreds of thousand dollars to have him and his staff fly round trip between the West Coast and Indianapolis so that he could be photgraphed at an NFL game standing and saluting while some players kneeled in protest of racism, and then walking out in a huff over their alleged lack of patriotism to be back in time to attend scheduled fundraisers in California © 2017 Kwiple.com
Hypocrites say My heart goes out to them. Jay Monahan, PGA Tour commissioner, on families that lost loved ones on 9/11, before selling the PGA to Saudi Arabia for an arm and a leg, perhaps Adnan Khashoggi's © 2023 Kwiple.com
Liars say This has nothing to do with race. Donald Trump, on calling any NFL player who kneels during singing of the national anthem in protest of racial injustice in America a “son of a bitch” who should be fired  © 2017 Kwiple.com
Making money the new-fashioned way Being an esports competitor © 2018 Kwiple.com
Making money the new-fashioned way c Fighting in cages © 2018 Kwiple.com
Money All of those golfers that remain "loyal" to the very disloyal PGA, in all of its different forms, will pay a big price when the inevitable MERGER with LIV comes, and you get nothing but a big "thank you" from PGA officials who are making Millions of Dollars a year. If you don't take the money now, you will get nothing after the merger takes place, and only say how smart the original signees were. Donald Trump, July 19, 2022 [Trump says he and Saudis backing LIV Golf "have been friends … for a long time." The PGA moved a scheduled tournament from his club in Bedminister, NJ, to one in Oklahoma after the January 6 attack on the Capitol.] © 2022 Kwiple.com
Money Whaddya want for 19 mil? Caption to Michael Crawford's cartoon depicting a fielder making an error talking to a teammate © 2016 Kwiple.com
Politics I have aired Ganesh's First Law of Politics before, but allow me a recapitulation. People do not work out their beliefs and then join the corresponding tribe.  They join a tribe and infer their beliefs from it.  The sense of belonging, the group membership, is what hooks people, not the thrill of being right or pursuing a thought on its own terms. Politics has become a team sport, goes the line on this. But even that is too kind. Sports fans are sardonic and irreverent about their own team. It isn’t so central to their identity as to require consistent adherence.   Janan Ganesh, Financial Times, December 2, 2022 © 2022 Kwiple.com
Politics Politics as a spectator sport has rarely been more popular. Its mixture of entertainment value with real consequences produces massive audience engagement. Yet at the same time, we're living in an era in which politicians, parliaments and whole political systems are being vilifed in ways they haven't been in decades. … The result is that the most prominent actors on the political stage today are those who cast themselves as non-politican politicians. The era we're living through isn't charact- erized simply by post-truth and populism. It's also, increasingly, an era of anti-politics. Or, at least, the rhetoric of anti-politics. Philip Seargeant, The Art of Political Storytelling © 2022 Kwiple.com
Profiles in courage Pence follows Trump order and walks out of 49ers-Colts after players kneel Trump confirms walkout was planned and says he is ‘proud’ headline, The Guardian, October 8, 2017 © 2017 Kwiple.com
Profiles in courage Republicans buy sneakers, too. Michael Jordan, acknowledged marketing maven, refusing to endorse Harvey Gantt, a black Democrat running against Jesse Helms, the segregationist Senator from North Carolina © 2017 Kwiple.com
Profiles in courage Roger Goodell, commissioner of the NFL, the world's most lucrative sports league, – fearing losing revenue because yokels bought Trump's and Russian imposter account BoycottNFL's malarkey that players' protests against racial injustice were protests against the flag – sent a memo to owners saying players – 70% of whom are black – should stop protesting in public © 2017 Kwiple.com
Punt returners say Give each guy in the line an ax. Alex Karras, great defensive tackle, responding when asked how to stop Jim Brown, great running back © 2019 Kwiple.com
Racial inequality I cannot stand and sing the anthem. I cannot salute the flag; I know that I am a black man in a white world. Jackie Robinson, I Never Had It Made:  An Autobiography of Jackie Robinson  © 2017 Kwiple.com
Racists say I think it's time to get rid of this whole National Basketball Association. Call it the TBA, the Thug Basketball Association, and stop calling them teams. Call 'em gangs. Rush Limbaugh, Trump's Presidential Medal of Freedom winner for “decades of tireless devotion to our country” © 2020 Kwiple.com
Racists say The NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons. Rush Limbaugh, Trump's Presidential Medal of Freedom winner for “decades of tireless devotion to our country” © 2020 Kwiple.com
Sleepers at the wheel say Ballpark food tastes best © 2018 Kwiple.com
Snapshot He could be on the course for any reason. We know he loves making fun of people's handicaps. Donald Trump portrayed by Stephen Colbert during comments on White Houses aides who acknowledged that Trump went golfing six times during his first thirty days in office, but refused to admit he played golf each time © 2017 Kwiple.com
Snapshot Trump doesn't just cheat at golf. He cheats like a three-card Monte dealer. He throws it, boots it, and moves it. He lies about his lies. He fudges and foozles and fluffs. At Winged Foot where Trump is a member, the caddies got so used to seeing him kick his ball back onto the fairway they came up with a nickname for him: “Pele.” Donald Trump portrayed by Rick Reilly © 2019 Kwiple.com
Snapshot Trump's nose has grown so long he could putt with it. Donald Trump portrayed by Rick Reilly © 2019 Kwiple.com
Surely you jest Excited to head to (City) and join the (team name). Instagram sent by Markelle Fultz announcing his selection as the No. 1 pick in the 2017 NBA draft © 2017 Kwiple.com
Surely you jest Honda commenced deliveries of its radical RC213V-S, a road-legal version of its World Championship-winning Moto GP race bike – which come with a suitably exotic price tag of £150,000. The 1,000cc V-4 engine produces 157hp (or more than 212 with the “race kit” fitted) and sits in a frame made from raw aluminum, meaning the machine must be housed in a heated garage to prevent it from corroding. citation How to Spend It, December 2, 2016 © 2016 Kwiple.com
Sports Every kid at Alabama is better than Nick Saban at football. He just knows how to win better than anyone on the planet. Will Frazer, coach of Gainesville, Florida's Buchholz High School math team, winner of 13 of the last 14 national high school math championships, noting that some of his students are better at math than he is © 2022 Kwiple.com
Sports Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. attributed to Tiger Woods © 2015 Kwiple.com
Sports I know Yankee fans. They boo you when they love you. Rudy Giuliani, commenting on fans at Yankee Stadium who booed him loudly when the announcer told them he was in the house celebrating his 74th birthday  © 2018 Kwiple.com
Sports If God wanted football in the spring, he wouldn't have created baseball. Donald Trump, who bought a team in the USFL, which played football in the spring, and then sued the NFL to force it to merge with the USFL, which would thereafter play in the fall and share in the NFL's television advertising revenue without having to create a fan base large enough to attract advertisers © 2016 Kwiple.com
Sports Ikey, Mikey, Jake and Sam, We're the boys who eat no ham, We play football, we play soccer— And we keep matzohs in our locker! Aye, aye, aye, Weequahic High! Philip Roth, Portnoy's Complaint © 2016 Kwiple.com
Sports It was fun. We had a great lawsuit. Donald Trump, recapping his experience as an owner in the United States Football League (USFL), which he convinced to sue the NFL to force a merger with the USFL, which lost, causing its demise © 2016 Kwiple.com
Sports The pride and presence of a professional football team is far more important than 30 libraries. Art Modell, defending inpiring a bidding war between Cleveland and Baltimore to host his team, then the Browns now the Ravens, when both cities faced financial crisis and were reducing services like libraries © 2016 Kwiple.com
Sports There's a big difference between not wanting your kids to play football and not wanting to watch football. They're obviously still watching. In fact, more of them [Americans] are. For the wealthy—that is to say, the decision-makers—in this country, it turns the NFL into something like the military. They'd rather their kids not take part, but they'd happily support your kids' doing so. Will Leitch, New York, September 5-18, 2016 © 2016 Kwiple.com
State of the union c Human cockfighting attracts billionaire investors glad to profit from hoi lolloi pugilists pounding one another into submission © 2016 Kwiple.com
Trumpists say I've seen this guy throw a dead spiral through a tire. I've seen him at Madison Square Garden with a topcoat on. He's standing in the key and he's hitting foul shots and swishing them, okay? He sinks three-foot putts.  Anthony Scaramucci © 2019 Kwiple.com
Wealth inequality How the Rich Fish In their quest for the best fishing, avid anglers are spending $200,000 to $750,000 to create and stock personal streams with computer-controlled conditions headline, Wall Street Journal, June 2, 2017 © 2017 Kwiple.com